Playboy Interviewer: It's been reported that you're the first man in history with a fortune in excess of a billion dollars.
J. Paul Getty: I have no idea. But, if you can count your money you're not a billionaire.
Linda Middleton: Why did I ever let you talk to me into this?
Emily Middleton: I should have just listened to you... I love you.
Linda Middleton: This is great, but we've really got to get out of here, you know.
Emily Middleton: Yeah, we need to get out of here, okay.
Ewan O'Hara: How do you guys feel about Oslo?
Shawn Spencer: He definitely shot Kennedy.
Ewan O'Hara: The city.
Shawn Spencer: They named a city after that son of a bitch?
Lee Strobel: Lee Strobel - Okay God, you win.
Papa Smurf: I know four Smurfs who have some explaining to do.
Joseph Kennedy: You'll never be great.
Paul: I think that Will and I should be the only ones who go outside for a while. We don't know what made Stanley sick, we don't know anything. Nobody touched him so I think we're fine, right?
Will: Positive. You just opened the door, right, you didn't go in?
Travis: I didn't touch the door.
Will: You did what?
Travis: It was already open.
Kim: What? What's happening?
Sarah: The door was already open when you got there?
Travis: Yeah.
Sarah: Then who opened it?
John Walcott: We do not write for the people who send people's kids to war. We write for the people whose kids get sent to war.
Peter Turner: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Lauren Bacall when you smoke?
Gloria Grahame: Humphrey Bogart. And I didn't like it then either.
Susie Webster: Oh, this whole thing's such a load of shit! I mean, our gene pool alone is bad enough. Workaholic meets curmudgeon, meets deranged 30-something.
Tony Webster: You're not a curmudgeon.
Susie Webster: I was talking about you.
Tony Webster: I know, darling.
Jessica Johnson: I am well aware that this is a one-way mission and there is no point of return to my original life.
Dr. Matthews: You seem healthy to me.
Jeffrey Dahmer: What about what's on a patient's mind?
Eamon Bailey: Knowing is good, but knowing everything is better.
Denver: Whether we're rich or poor, or somewhere in between, we're all homeless, just working our way back home.
Martha Farnsworth: It's seems the enemy... it's not what we believed.
Spider: I want my shit back.
Steve Ford: I want my dog back.
Evie: True love's kiss. Works every time.
Roland Deschain: Do they have guns and bullets in your world?
Jake Chambers: You're gonna like Earth. A lot.
Edwin: You ever worried we might shoot all the wrong people?
Flake: You wanna know what I think about? How when something terrible happens somewhere, and there's all those flags, and flowers, and candles, and pictures of people who died, and pages of sayings and poems, all that shit lined up for months. That's what I think about.