Pug Rothbaum: I'd like everybody in the world to call me a cocksucker and give me a dollar. Because that way I'd be rich and everybody'd love me.
Arthur Lewis: Well, we'll always have Mars.
Steve Lopez: I don't give a smooth fart whether or not we go.
Eric: I am not a man... I am Cantona.
Simon McNeal: There is something going on in this house, all right? The first time upstairs, yeah, I faked it. But the second time, that was real. That was something way beyond a few pieces of charcoal. Something way beyond what a guy in a lab coat will ever tell you.
Mary Florescu: I thought you were smarter than this, Simon. I thought, for a moment, you were for real.
Thomas Huxley: Mr Darwin, sir? Either you are being disingenuous or you do not fully understand your own theory. Evidently, what is true of the barnacle is true of all creatures, even humans. The Almighty can no longer claim to have authored every species in under a week. You've killed God, sir! You've killed God.
Della Frye: Did we just break the law?
Cal McAffrey: Nope. That's what you call damn fine reporting.
Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.
Tommy Frigo: Don't get all drunk and fall asleep.
James Brennan: Why?
Tommy Frigo: 'Cause i'll jack off on your face.
Steve Jones: I want you to come join me in the real world.
Kate Jones: This is my real world.