Eric: I am not a man... I am Cantona.
Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full.
George: Looking in the mirror staring back at me isn't so much a face as the expression of a predicament.
Lord Henry Wotton: What are you?
Dorian Gray: I am what you made me! I lived the life that you preached... but never dared practice. I am everything, that you were too afraid to be.
Simon McNeal: There is something going on in this house, all right? The first time upstairs, yeah, I faked it. But the second time, that was real. That was something way beyond a few pieces of charcoal. Something way beyond what a guy in a lab coat will ever tell you.
Mary Florescu: I thought you were smarter than this, Simon. I thought, for a moment, you were for real.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: If that's OK with you.
Captain Tony Stone: Civilian life's for people who ain't seen shit. It's too late for you, you've already seen the shit, you can't unsee it anymore. You can't be an insurance salesman now, brother, it's too fukin' late.
Tommy Frigo: Don't get all drunk and fall asleep.
James Brennan: Why?
Tommy Frigo: 'Cause i'll jack off on your face.
Della Frye: Did we just break the law?
Cal McAffrey: Nope. That's what you call damn fine reporting.
Eloise: Can I say something? And, and this comes from a place of total humility. With the acknowledgment that my life is a day-by-day experiment in... really bad decisions. But, er... you're really messed up.
Catherine Stewart: Did you find that waitress sexy?
David Stewart: Which one?
Catherine Stewart: The one you were flirting with.
David Stewart: Oh come on, I was being friendly.
Steve Jones: I want you to come join me in the real world.
Kate Jones: This is my real world.
Connor: You need sortin' out, you do.
Mia: So you keep sayin' But you're nothing to me, so why should I listen?
Vince Rizzo: Did you sleep outside last night?
Vince Jr.: No, no, no. I did heroin with a bunch of prostitutes at the Plaza Hotel. I'm thinking of becoming a pimp.
Vince Rizzo: Good. I'll see you later.
He: Nothing hurts more than to see the one that you love subjected to mistakes and wrongs.
Sean Combs: Yo, he got sex appeal like LL?
Wayne Barrow: A little bigger than that.
Sean Combs: What, like Heavy D?
Wayne Barrow: He's a little darker than that.
Wayne Barrow: He look like Wesley Snipes?
Wayne Barrow: Oh, he ain't Wesley.
Jim McCrea: Is he dead?
Michael McCrea: Man, what the fuck do you think?
Jim McCrea: What do I think? I think you need to dispose of the body.
Michael McCrea: The wise man advises. You gonna help?
Jim McCrea: I wouldn't be makin' the suggestion otherwise.
Emma Wheeler: Here you go. Sunny-side eggs, sausage with bacon, home fries, homemade biscuits and country gravy. Can I get you anything else?
Paul Morgan: No, thanks. Just an angiogram.
Amy: I tell you the good news and spare you the bad. Isn't that what mom used to do for you when we were kids?