Carter Rutherford: I thought you liked me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Look, she's too old for you.
Lexie Littleton: What? Well, you're too old for me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well, you got me on that one.
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
King Henry viii: Why are you here for her?
Mary Boleyn: Because she is my sister, and therefore one half of me.
Eli: I'm twelve. But I've been twelve for a long time.
Kate: Sorry Mrs Kingsley, we just got a little bit carried away.
Mrs. Kingsley: Well as I understand, Drippy was totally carried away by Mr Nellis and Miss Rees-Withers - after lying in a pool of her own vomit.
Drippy: Actually, it was Kate's vomit, Mrs Kingsley - I was just lying in it.
Guru Tugginmypudha: Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz.
Tess Finnegan: Your uselessness is epic.
Juan Antonio: Well, now that the day's almost over, is it reasonable of me to ask you if you'll both join me in my room?
Vicky: Oh, come on, I thought we'd settled that.
Cristina: Vicky's just trying to say that she's engaged to be married, that's all.
Juan Antonio: Great. Then these are her last days of freedom.
Vicky: No. Look, I'm not free. I'm committed. You know what my theory is? And when I drink, I get brutally frank. I think that you're still hurting from the failure of your marriage to Maria Elena, and you're trying to lose yourself in empty sex.
Juan Antonio: Empty sex? Do you have such a low opinion of yourself?
Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
Surfing Instructor: When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons, ' and bail.
Carrie Mae: Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.
Keith: I had it all figured out, so I cut out early? Who cares? It's probably a good thing. Life sucks, anyway. Then I met you, and it got weird. And you were so amazing. And I.
Natalie: What? What?
Keith: I just wanted a little more time. So all in all, I'd say you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Goodbye, partner.
Bertram Pincus: We live alone, and then we die alone. And apparently, we stay alone.
Bridget Cardigan: We'll think outside the box.
Don Cardigan: Well that's good because we're selling the box and moving into a smaller box.
Scott Bartlett: So are we really going to like do it?
Adrianna Bragg: Do you really think we should talk about it?
The Silent Monk: Learn the form, but seek the formless. Hear the soundless. Learn it all, then forget it all. Learn The Way, then find your own way.
Angie Ostrowiski: Stop framing your face.
Kate Holbrook: I think it works.
Angie Ostrowiski: It doesn't.
Adrienne Willis: I know you've only ever known your father and me. And I love Jack, because he is your father. But there's another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it.