Arthur Seldom: Any formulation is valid in the series because we can always find a rule that justifies it.
Mr. Big: I will love you forever, Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.
James Wetherhold: Vanessa here is the perfect little housewife. I mean daughter.
Vanessa Wetherhold: Yes, if by perfect you mean not retarded, slash suffering from insurmountable credit card debt, then yes, I'm indeed perfect.
Emperor Wilhelm: We need men like him. I supposed we'll have to give you another promotion, Richthofen. You are a real hero. I take it the ladies are all over you.
Manfred von Richthofen: There aren't many ladies at 10,000 feet, your Majesty.
Tom: Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.
Ashley: Dan! Sorry, the phone scared me so I killed it.
Moose: Yeah, we're her crew! We're getting ready to battle at the streets.
Felicia: What street? Sesame Street?
Emma: You can't find something if you don't know what you're looking for.
Phil: I'm sorry it's Phil Goldman. How do you do?
Guinevere Pettigrew: We've met before actually. You were entirely naked at the time.
Will: I never told you the happy ending.
Maya: What is it?
Will: You.
Bloom: You don't understand what my brother does. He writes his cons the way dead Russians write novels, with thematic arcs and embedded symbolism and shit. And he wrote me as the vulnerable anti-hero. And that's why you think you want to kiss me. It's a con.
Kym: [Late to rehab meeting, knocking over a chair.] Cocksucker!
Kieran: Uh, only once. My dealer. I was very hard up for cash.
Mike: You have to let go of everything... in order to move on.
Bender: Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone.
Jordan Roark: I like the way you handle me.
Tibby: So Kostos isn't married. Why can't you just stop thinking about it and follow your heart?
Lena: Because...he broke my heart!
Frank Allen: You caught me reminiscing. A lot of memories here. Buy you a drink?
Ed: Oh, I'd love to Frank, but uh... I'm kind of... I'm... I'm in a bit of a rush.
Frank Allen: I insist. After all, it is the traditional function of the father of the bride.
Ed: What is?
Frank Allen: Keeping the groom away from back exits.
Sameer's Mother: There are things you must do with women that you cannot do with men.
Sidney Young: I sent the fish, you know, goldfish in a bowl. Did she get them?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: Yes, but they were dead.
Sidney Young: All of them?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: Yeah, it was kind of shocking actually! Were they dead when you send them?
Sidney Young: No no, who sends people dead fish?
Sophie Maes' Assistant: The Mafia?
