Abby: You killed Bin Laden?
Lt. Muldoon: I put two in his heart, one in his computer.
Wray: So that was you.
Turner Claymore: Here at Berm-Tech we offer you a handshake, whether you have hands, hooks, or flippers.
The Stranger: Mr. And Mrs. Sheriff. So sweet. So helpless against what is coming.
Stella Oleson: He's just trying to freak us out.
Jake Oleson: It's working.
Sheriff Eben Oleson: We have more important things to think about. I'll check on Gus.
The Stranger: Check on Gus. Board the windows. Try to hide. They're coming. This time they're gonna take me with them... honor me. Yeah. For all that I have done.
Sheriff Eben Oleson: They? Who are they?
Pat Garret: Newton, life is like a penis. When it's hard you get screwed. When it's soft you can't beat it.
Andrew Maxwell: The problem doesn't seem to be that people are waking up dead, but that dead people are waking up.
Prior: Someone want to tell me what the fuck he's talking about?
McKay: He thinks we're being stalked by dead Nazis.
Jordan: Ghosts?
McKay: I didn't get shot by some fucking spectral entity, here. These things are solid.
Hunt: But the one that killed Cotter vanished right in front of us.
McKay: So why don't they swoop down here like God's own wrath and take us out right here and now, then, eh?
Hunt: I don't know. Maybe God's not in on this miracle.
Jenny: Are you all right?
Ian Stone: Yeah, aside from the sudden desire to slit my wrists I think I'll make it until Monday.
Lady Murasaki: They will call it murder.
Hannibal Lecter: At worst a crime of passion.
Linda Hanson: Something is seriously fucked up.
Guy: I was going to tell you everything eventually.
Dr. Godfrey: It's true! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata!
Tammy: Are you okay?
Cherry Darling: I'm just Cherry.
Cesar: There's something more to this place. Our cells don't work. Neither does the T.V. Or radio. We're isolated.
Eve: Good and evil are just imaginary friends.
Jonesy: Okay, from now on, you'll be the uptight lesbian sister I never had. Deal?
Jamie Ashen: Remember: whatever happens, don't scream.
Maddie McConnell: Are you here for my girl? Are you gonna kill my baby girl?
Katherine Winter: What? No.
Maddie McConnell: Why not?
Katherine Winter: I'm just trying to help her.
Maddie McConnell: She doesn't need help. Can't you see that?
Carlos Olivera: Just promise me one thing. When you get down there.
Alice: Consider it done.
Mackenzie Carpenter: Lenny couldn't find his ass with both hands.