Commander Fredericks: Why, Charles? You look like the devil himself.
Chief Jesse Stone: He probably wouldn't be the town hero if he were ugly.
Lilly Summers: Well that's cynical.
Chief Jesse Stone: I prefer observant.
Lilly Summers: And being observant would make you cynical, wouldn't it?
Chief Jesse Stone: You seem observant.
Lilly Summers: I try.
Chief Jesse Stone: But you don't seem cynical.
Lilly Summers: Well, I'm in the hope business.
James: Our daughter is scarred for life. She'll either grow up to be oddly attracted to Popeye, or a lesbian.
Jenny Johnson: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Matt Saunders: You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Jenny Johnson: Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.
Male Receptionist: You made me want to be a woman.
Him: I have that effect on people.
Bruno: I owe this guy from 3 years ago. I took my kid to the hospital, all bruised up. Fuckers thought I'd beat up on him. This guy tells the cops it wasn't me, my kid's a haemophiliac. As long as he needs us, we're there, okay?
Madeleine Linscott: Get the picture?
Ofcr. Dwight "Bucky" Bleichert: Technicolor.
Tom Dobbs: If Mama Cass had shared a lunch with Karen Carpenter, both would still be alive today... What do I think of gay marriage? I believe gays have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
Fortunio Balducci: Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval.
Marilyn Dean: Discover a path... that doesn't lead back here.
Trish: Time for your bath.
Martha Beck: You know what they say about cops and donuts?
Charles Hilderbrandt: No, what?
Martha Beck: Neither one's any good without a hole in them.
Charles Hilderbrandt: They say that about women, too.
Camille: Are you going to jail?
Tyler Gage: No, I'm not going to jail. But they will have to take me to jail if you don't start knocking. Get out of here.
Edward Malus: What happened to her?
Sister Rose: She'll burn to death.
Edward Malus: Excuse me, what did you say?
Sister Rose: Precisely what I meant to say: "She burned to death."
Klaus Ofczarek: They say that you have to stand outside of history. This history is a nightmare. And that there's absolutely nothing else to be said about it. They sound like philosophers.Except they say philosophy is rubbish.
Marty: I, um, I guess I have some issues.
Olivia: You do?
Marty: You know, people sort of, problems. I have them.
Joe: How far does a man have to go to be thought so dangerous that he needs to be locked away, physically separated from the rest of the world, behind stone walls and iron bars? Clearly, it is a last resort.
Mary: A husband has been chosen for me, how is he to believe this?