James: Our daughter is scarred for life. She'll either grow up to be oddly attracted to Popeye, or a lesbian.
Jenny Johnson: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Matt Saunders: You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Jenny Johnson: Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.
Joe: How far does a man have to go to be thought so dangerous that he needs to be locked away, physically separated from the rest of the world, behind stone walls and iron bars? Clearly, it is a last resort.
Tom Dobbs: If Mama Cass had shared a lunch with Karen Carpenter, both would still be alive today... What do I think of gay marriage? I believe gays have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
Charles Farmer: So, what do you wanna be when you get out of here?
Child #2: I don't know.
Charles Farmer: What do you mean, you don't know?
Child #2: I don't know.
Charles Farmer: Well, let me tell you something, you better know what you wanna do before somebody knows it for you. Trust me.
Madeleine Linscott: Get the picture?
Ofcr. Dwight "Bucky" Bleichert: Technicolor.
Professor Sandiford: Now, everyone don't be so hard on Jerome. He is attempting to achieve the impossible. He is trying to sing in his own voice using someone else's vocal cords.
Edward Malus: What happened to her?
Sister Rose: She'll burn to death.
Edward Malus: Excuse me, what did you say?
Sister Rose: Precisely what I meant to say: "She burned to death."
Puchi: It was good. It was bad. It was beautiful.