Ned Kynaston: Right, I'll need boot black.
Sir Charles Sedley: I have boot black.
Ned Kynaston: With you?
Sir Charles Sedley: A scuff, sir, is a dreadful thing.
Rosa: Fear is a powerful weapon. Fear doesn't give you the power to decide.
Staff Sgt. Oberron: Listen. No cars, no planes... no birds. That's what the first men heard. That's what the last men will hear... just the wind blowing through the trees, and the world turning.
Chuck Horner: Is your dad a squid?
Joey: No, sir. My mom.
Penny Travis: Is there such a thing as the human heart, now there's the better question.
Tim Travis: Well, if you listen closely, you can hear 'em breaking.
Linda Morrison: Have you ever considered baby-sitting full time?
Chief Kennedy: What do you think I do at the firehouse?
Salerio: Why, I am sure, if he forfeit thou wilt not take his flesh: what's that good for?
Shylock: To bait fish withal: if it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge.
Paquette: What kind of gun did he have?
Costa: He had the kind that leaves really big holes in people.
Aidan McRory: Forgive me. Forgive me.
Dudley Moore: Is my entire contribution to this show going to consist of my humiliating myself?
Peter Cook: No, Dudley. We'll do that for you.
Dudley Moore: Thank you. I wouldn't want to be appreciated or anything.
Peter Cook: Well, we initially tried looking up to you, Dudley... but when we did, we invariably found ourselves looking down.
Peter Sellers: People ask me why do I keep compromising my artistic integrity by walking in front of Blake's cameras. And you know what I tell them? Money.
Jay Corgan: My parents put an ocean between them after the nastiest divorce ever. No joke. People study it.
Jan: I've got news for you, Corporate Man: your days are numbered.
Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick.
Oz: What, no Jewish prayer before we have our ham and cheese?
Jimmy: You got a problem with my religiosity, Oz? Do unto others before you turn into a pillar of salt.
Jill: Exactly. Unless they're a rat. Then you can shoot them in the eyes.
Oz: A pillar of salt?
Jimmy: That's right. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz.
Detective Scofield: You are going to be late because you are being questioned for murder.
Damien: You really think the government would kill two million people just for having a few problems?
Leïto: Six million died for not having blonde hair and blue eyes.
Albert Markovski: No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.
Bret: What happens in the meadow at dusk?
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: It's beautiful.
Tommy Corn: It's beautiful.
Melinda Sordino: I hate winter. I've lived in the midwest my whole life and I hate winter. It starts too early and it ends too late. Why doesn't everyone just move to Florida?