Pam Byrnes: In a few weeks, I'm not going to be Pam Byrnes. I'm going to be Pamela Focker.
Greg Focker: Or Byrnes-Focker, we haven't totally decided yet.
Pam Byrnes: No, no, no, I'm going to be Pamela Martha Focker. I know how that sounds but that's the name I'm taking.
Daniel: If you can reach out and touch the horizon, you're at your journeys end.
Audrey: James Joyce?
Daniel: My Uncle Clive, but, equally profound, don't you think?
Angelica: Rosalee, when great love is rejected something inside a man dies.
Cole Burris: I'm so hungry, I'd sell my Grandmother for a tic tac.
Alice: My name...is Alice. And I remember everything.
Sykes: Who's your Puff Daddy? Who takes care of you, huh?
Captain Mack: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 thousand feet? Oh shit, man! We fuckin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards.
Reuben Feffer: Ahh... rat in the house.
Polly Prince: That's not a rat, that's my ferret.
Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].
Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
Bobbi Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas.
Lucas: Your other weakness is ME.
[A big grizzly bear has just appeared from the forest and is standing right in front of Tom, Dan and Jerry.]
Dan: What are you doing?
Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes.
Dan: Why?
Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes.
Dan: You can't outrun that bear.
Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.
Rochester: I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life.
Rex Harper: Hey. I'll be out in a week. Just another great story for Rex Harper.
Detective Burton: Yeah, in a week you'll be somebody's wife. Let's go.
Mrs. Peatree: Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke?"Let's divert federal resources and man hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style."
Amy: I was doing research.
Mrs. Peatree: I'll bet.
Bobby Long: It's all right, I can walk to the curb from here. Get me a beer.