Javier Suarez: It's like dancing with my mother's ironing board.
Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was ten.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on.
Ben Calder: If I kiss you, do you think they'll shoot me?
Anna Foster: No, but I will if you don't.
CJ: What are you, a fucking doctor?
Ana: No, I'm a fucking nurse.
Flynn Carsen: She may have been in cahoots with Wilde all along! Cahoots... I've been cahooted.
Narrator: So, while her stepfamily scratched newly-found itches / Ella was off, glad to be away from the... witches.
Nick Vanderpark: Spray some on my butt cause I just shit my pants.
Fat Albert: You can't let fear keep you from caring about someone, because, caring about someone... is wonderful! A person you think about, and they think about you, and you both know you're thinking of each other... and it's just fantastic to know that there is somebody out there in the world thinking about you.
Mary: Mercy House is a place that deals with all kinds of problems, like drug addiction and alcoholism to de-gayification and unwed mothers.
Hiram Gummer: I feel I've not been privy to critical, most needful information.
George: So, let's see the penis! Bring on the penis.
Ray: This place is full of fake tits and real assholes.
Ralph Walker: Father Hibbert.
Father George Hibbert: What is it Mr. Walker?
Ralph Walker: Producing a miracle is possible?
Father George Hibbert: Like flying to the moon is possible, but it's never going to happen.
Telly Paretta: At first I thought it had something to do with the plane crash. Remember when that TWA plane crashed over Long Island? Everybody thought it was a missile, friendly fire, or some type of government cover-up.
Ash Correll: Yeah, I remember that.
Telly Paretta: But then I thought, you know, 'How could the government erase our memories?' Its just not possible. So.
Ash Correll: What?
Telly Paretta: So you don't think I'm out of my mind?
Ash Correll: I don't anymore.
Soz: I told him not to mention the elephant.
Francesca: You look like a slut. I like it.
Buck: Say, girls... got milk?
Ava Gardner: You listened to my phone calls?
Howard Hughes: No! No! No! Honey I would never do that! I'd never do that! I... I just read the transcripts, that's all.
Alan: You wanna take a shot too? Everybody else has.