Mrs. Puff: We paid 9 dollars to see this?
Sandy Cheeks: I paid 10.
Mr. Ditkovich: If promises were crackers, my daughter would be fat.
Mia Thermopolis: Oh my God, you're here.
Lilly Moscovitz: I know.
Mia Thermopolis: In Genovia.
Lilly Moscovitz: I know.
Mia Thermopolis: You're in my closet.
Lilly Moscovitz: Yeah.
Mia Thermopolis: You're blonde.
Lilly Moscovitz: I'm blonde.
Stan Lloyd: It's okay to be happy to see me. Just because you're English doesn't mean you need to hide your emotions.
Max Burdett: I'm Irish. We let people know how we feel. Now fuck off.
Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch.
Mort: I don't care. I'm just gonna smoke. I'm just gonna totally smoke. I'll finish these, go to the store and get a brand-new pack, smoke the shit out of that one.
Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].
Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
Bobbi Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas.
Lucas: Your other weakness is ME.
Dr. White: "Give me liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry, an American hero.
District commissioner #1: Apples and oranges.
Dr. White: In oranges and women courage is often mistaken for insanity.
Paul Rusesabagina: There will be no rescue, no intervention for us. We can only save ourselves. Many of you know influential people abroad, you must call these people. You must tell them what will happen to us... say goodbye. When you say goodbye, say it as if you are reaching through the phone and holding their hand. Let them know that if they let go of that hand, you will die. We must shame them into sending help.
Anna: I've met somebody who seems to be Sean... I really hoped that he was Sean. I wanted him to be Sean. But I knew he wasn't... The thing is, I'm falling in love with Sean again. That's what's happening. I need you to tell him to go away. Because I can't do it.
Neuter Grandmother on Bus: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles, showing your pubic patch to the bus driver. You should move downtown where you belong, you whore.
Nate Johnson: Nikki, this better be FTD, cuz this Russian tail is old enough to be yo' grandaddy.
Nikki Johnson: Not mom's big daddy.
Madam Suliman: It's time to put an end to this idiotic war.
Stacie: Who are you?
Yancy: Yancy. I'm Yancy. We had P.E. together all year.
Stacie: You're orange.
Farrah: Oh my god, Yancy, you are orange, you have too much presto tan.
Jesus: Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do.