Agent Jay: Could I have your attention, please? [Neuralyzes the crowd.] Thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would have been *eaten*. 'Cause you don't listen! You're ignorant! How's a man gonna come crashin' through the back of a subway win - that's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers!"Oh no, we've seen it all!" "Oh no, a 600 foot worm, save us Mr. Black man!" I ask you nicely to move forward to the next car, y'all just sit there like... [Neuralyzes the crowd again.] The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. Hopefully you enjoyed our smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars. Watch your step, you all have a nice evening.
Rowland: There's a clone doctor named Runa Pedanken. Made a big name for herself creating an entire basketball team from one old guy.
Pluto Nash: The Air Jordans. Yeah.
Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.
Frank Martin: All right, that's enough juice for now.
Flying Snow: How swift thy sword.
Construction Worker #1: Quinn! What are you doing down in the arsehole of the world?
Young Quinn: Well you're passing through it. What does that make you?
Meowth: There they go. All we gotta do is follow them on top of them rooftops.
James: Well, I used to be quite a good gymnast.
Jessie: This is our big chance, I could almost taste it! Are you ready?
James: Yeah.
Gordon Brewer: So, you want collateral damage, huh? I'll give you fucking collateral damage.
Jake Hayes: Does it play DVDs?
Seale: No. It's a portable thermonucular (sic) bomb.
Rain: She bit me man! I mean she took a chunk clean right out of me!
Doctor Doppler: Just wait until we tell your mother about this! Of course, we may downplay the life-threatning parts.
Detective Arango: Hey McCaleb! We don't need your doughnuts... or your shit! We've got enough of our own.
Detective Mitch Preston: I have no interest in you, your stupid questions, or your silly show.
Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
Wells: If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya. Because we're firing blanks doesn't mean we have to be thinking nice thoughts. So you remember, you keep the fire down, right, you get stuck in and you kick their fucking teeth out, or I guarantee you, Joe, they will be eating your bollocks for breakfast, sunshine.
Terry: Hard-boiled or fried, Sarge?
Wells: Scrambled.
Jack Van Meter: Get the hell down from there. While you're grandstanding here the city is starting to burn. Jimmy for Christ sakes.
Det. Sgt. Eldon Perry Jr.: If the city is starting to burn, Jack, it's partly because of guys like you and me. And I may be a goddamm alcoholic but that doesn't mean I can't tell the truth - and I've got all the deep deep dirt right here. Somebody put the cufs on me - let me start talking.
Mojo Jojo: Now, if you'll excuse me, I, Mojo Jojo, have a town to take over. I have a world to conquer. I have to seize control of an area and force its inhabitants to follow my way of thinking.
Steve Irwin: That was a close one.
Harlan: There's no way you're telling me that thing back there is from Earth.
Chris McCormick: All right! They're spiders from Mars! You happy?
Harlan: No.