Pete: So, uh, what brings you to Australia?
Maddie: Well, I uh, my parents inherited the inn.
Pete: Really? From who?
Maddie: Oh, some dead guy.
Pete: Some dead guy?
Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits.
Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
Gazoo: Than I guess it was an insult.
Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."
Faust: I am the pornography that gets you hot!
Rachel: Jacob, even God rested on the seventh day. He'll find his future soon enough. Let him be with his brothers.
Bertier: I love you, sugar.
Jennifer: I wanna do laundry with you, Ryan.
Steerpike: Why is it that some people starve and others have so much they waste it?
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
Matthew: Enter the fuckin' dragon.
E.L.: Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.
Clem Greenberg: What you're doing is the most original and vigorous art in the country.
Jackson Pollock: We're broke.
Clem Greenberg: Yeah, keep at it.
Jackson Pollock: Keeping at it... don't tell me to keep at it.
Damodar: Just like you thieves, always taking things that don't belong to you.
Rudy Duncan: You're sending me into an Indian casino dressed as a cowboy, thought this through entirely?
Pug: It was either that or a ballerina.
Dawn Cottrell: It's my body and I'll cut where I want.
Joan Vollmer: So, do they have ruins down in Guatemala?
William S. Burroughs: It's all ruins. Or it all will be, given enough time.
Joan Vollmer: Ah, just like people.
William S. Burroughs: Yes. But people decay more promptly than Mayan temples.
Judge Litten Mandrake: It is time to remove Mr. McNamara. He is no longer loyal.
Nancy Grover: Zoe, have you ever changed a baby's diaper?
Zoe: Does a doll count?
Nancy Grover: Let's start you off with a girl.
Jamie Grover: Boys tend to pee on you.
Zoe: Um, ew.
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.