Referee #1: Ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball.
Coach: This is a joke, I mean dogs don't play basketball!
Chaney: What's the matter, afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Coaches: Put him in.
General Bethlehem: Great men were made by other great men. Patton had Rommel. Grant had Lee.
Ed Exley: A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stampanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She looks just like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: What?
Jack Vincennes: She IS Lana Turner.
Alyssa: Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: Are you asking for my permission?
Nathaniel Demerest: Step aside, doorman.
Johnny Valentine: Doorman? The name is Valentine. Johnny Valentine. You'd better remember when they ask you how you lost your eye.
Nick Beam: You don't say "sorry" when you shoot somebody. You can say "sorry" when you step on someone's toe, or accidentally break their glasses, or when you fart while they're eating. you don't SAY you'RE sorry when you shoot someone.
Dr. Weir: What was made public about the Event Horizon - that she was a deep space research vessel, that her reactor went critical, and that the ship blew up - none of that is true. The Event Horizon is the culmination of a secret government project to create a spacecraft capable of faster-than-light flight.
Smith: Uhm, excuse me. See, you can't actually do that.
Theodore Roosevelt: Will you be so kind, Mr Crane, with your camera, to take a picture of this regiment on this glorious hill, for we will always live in its shadow.
Agnes Stouffer: If you boys have been throwing any more firecrackers in my pool again, I'm gonna beat your butts until your nose bleeds.
Dianne Wainford: What sort of policeman are you?
Alex Cross: I'm a forensic psychologist. It's a fancy way of saying I'm a guy who walks into a room like that and determines the hows and whys.
Terek Murad: Here's what I can do! [Kills a man with an ax to the head.] I loved this man like a brother... He was a dear friend and partner to me. So I took no joy in that! But just think... If I could do this to one I love, what could I do to someone I hate? So the American F.B.I declares war on us? Then war it is. (00:09:20)
Capt. Wallace B. Binghampton: Did we wake you up?
Willie: No sir, we've been up since the crack of noon.
Martin Barnfield: We're cooking here. This is a stew, a gumbo, a jambalaya, if you will. We're just jamming.
Woolie Mammoth: Did you know the peanut is not a nut at all? And not a pea, for that matter. It's rather odd that we call it a nut because it isn't a nut, you see. It's actually a member of the legume family. How about pea-legume? No, that doesn't make any sense, either. But whatever it is, it makes a splendid tea.
Detective Harlan Regis: I think the president's gonna become an international suspect.
Seth Warner: I am not crazy. I know the difference between bad luck and divine inspiration.
Gordon Szalinski: You are dead meat, mister.
Wayne Szalinski: Gordon, you're three-quarters of an inch tall, now's not the time.