Mavis LaBreche: I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"
Mavis: Hah! A couple of gold diggers, comin' up empty. That's terrific.
Charlie: What do I look like, a schmuck?
Mavis: The jury's still out on that one.
Liz LaBreche: Shut up, ma. We're keepin' him.
Herb: Look at the size of this room! A good fart will give you a concussion.
Charlie: Be careful! Some of the big fish can swallow you whole.
Herb: Swallow my what? You're not helping.
Mavis: Which one of the Wright brothers did you buy this from?
Leon the Pilot: Probably the one you dated in high school.
Mavis: Wooo! I feel so much better. That's very reassuring. We have a funny pilot.
Gil Godwyn: I'm your worst nightmare: a song-and-dance man raised on a military base.
Herb: I'll tell you the truth, Gil, I lost my wife not too long ago.
Gil Godwyn: Oh, good. Good! Tell it to the ladies. They eat it up.
Charlie: There's no such thing as too late. That's why they invented death.
Charlie Gordon: Liz... from the first moment I saw you on that ship... it was my intention to lie to you, I swear.
Liz LaBreche: Well, that's sweet.
Charlie Gordon: What I didn't intend, was falling in love with you.