Rutland Coach: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.
Referee: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down.
Ward Cleaver: June, you're vacuuming in pearls. You know what that does to me.
Lizzie: I know karate.
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: We're not gonna have a war, we're gonna have the appearance of a war.
Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful.
Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful.
Joan: So now you're blaming me because I don't go out with you enough, to meet strangers to fuck.
Frank Hall, IRS: Whoa, look, sir. Hey, I know I may be a little new at this but I don't think we shoot people for cheating on their taxes.
Insp. Derek Lester: Oh. You're right. You are new at this.
Blake Allen: I think words are not serving me well at all.
Andy McDermott: Great. Come to Paris and check out les drains.
Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
Maggie: I don't want him back, I just want him vaporized, extinguished! When I'm done with him, he'll be just a twitching little stain on the floor.
David Langley: I've given my life to art and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near are the pictures I draw on the pavement hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat. I guess the long on the short of it: I wish I'd never been born.
Raif Bentley: You know, I'm not a violent man but I really do think I'm going to have to kill someone here.
Ernie: I think we better pull over, 'cause we need some gas soon.
Tommy Spinelli: Keep fucking driving.
Fern: Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking language?
Malik Brody: I knew these guys weren't real cops.
Toby Wong: They're real... Real Dirty.
Murray: One wish per customer and no wishes for more wishes. They plugged that loophole up years ago. In past years there were abuses.
Eddie: I like my women like I like my coffee... covered in beeees.
Dale Putley: Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.
Lee: No, all we need is money, mate.