Jimmy Nova: Wanna know what a cockroach is called in Algeria?
Montello Hungry: Why the fuck would someone want to know that?
Kate Mosley: I can be a "bad" girl, Sam.
Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.
12-Year-Old Howard: But why can't I play with my puppets?
Ben Stern: Shut up, ya know why.
Gilbert Bates: Yo, I'm Gilbert. This summer, my parents shipped me off to camp. I caught impetigo. And when I got back, my dad had moved out. Only since then he moved back, but he's still sleepin' in my room and he's sleeping on the couch.
Dr. Butz: When those lawyers start crawling all over you, that's when you know you're a doctor.
Michele: I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
Romy: YOU'RE the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one.
Audience Member: You should run for President! It would send a message.
Michael Moore: What message? Eat out more often?
Lilly Leonard: You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married.
Toby Wong: Back to plan A.
Malik Brody: What's plan A?
Toby Wong: Don't get shot.
Malik Brody: Good plan.
Steve: Who says we want what we think we want? We want what we think we are supposed to want? Like what the books tell us to want. And the movies. That's what I wanted. Happy. Happy, happy, happy. Shit like that, ok? We didn't get that. That's the end of that. Ok? It's not... the end of us. It's the end of a dream, that's all. You wake up in the morning, the dream's over, so what? We're still here.
Caroline Sexton: Coffee? This is a coffee-drinking ordnun? Ohh, praise the Lord, sister.
Peagreen Clock: Great, just great. I've been outside for two minutes and I'm covered in POO.
Lizzie: I know karate.
Celine: Remember what they didn't teach you at Harvard Business school.
Robert: I didn't go to Harvard Business school.
Celine: That's a figure of speech, Robert.
Blake Allen: I think words are not serving me well at all.
Ernie: I think we better pull over, 'cause we need some gas soon.
Tommy Spinelli: Keep fucking driving.
Fern: Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking language?