Eddie: I like my women like I like my coffee... covered in beeees.
Kurt's assistant: If you ask me, the guy's a few tacos short of a combination plate.
Murray: One wish per customer and no wishes for more wishes. They plugged that loophole up years ago. In past years there were abuses.
Ed Lautner: Uh excuse me, do you mind if we drop you off on the freeway, we're in kind of a hurry?
Dexter 'Dex' Strang: Whatever.
Nick: So how do you think it's going?
Kate Mosley: Um, fine, I guess. But, you know, if one of us doesn't start this fight pretty soon, um, everyone's gonna miss it.
Jimmy Nova: Wanna know what a cockroach is called in Algeria?
Montello Hungry: Why the fuck would someone want to know that?
Kirk: If you see them, you tell them that I love them very much and I want to see them again and that they are very nice, very attractive boys.
Michele: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.
Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.
Brad: You know what love is backwards? It's E-V-O-L. Evil! Pure evil! Granted it's spelled differently, but it's the same thing.
Peagreen Clock: Great, just great. I've been outside for two minutes and I'm covered in POO.
O'Reilly: Human fucking beings. What do you have to do?
Dr. Butz: When those lawyers start crawling all over you, that's when you know you're a doctor.
Chris 'Q' Todd: One word: forget it.
Audience Member: You should run for President! It would send a message.
Michael Moore: What message? Eat out more often?
Kenny: I'm gonna call the Ghostbusters on your ass.
Lesly: I can't talk that way about your brother.
Jackie-O: Pretend he is not my brother, I do.