Jimmy Flaherty: Prison won't be so bad. I can became a born-again Christian. And that'll be good. Because nobody wants a born-again Christian as their bitch.
Shane: I don't like seein' Dad sad, Mam, but I'd sooner see him sad than not see him at all.
John Henderson: We're in the 90s, mother. It's fancy jam time.
Mr. Coplin: San Diego has a big carjacking problem. They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and take your car.
Richard Clark: Victoria, could you give me a ride home? I seem to have misplaced my car.
Victoria Chapell: Oh, don't worry about it. All the teachers loose their car on their first day.