Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
Dick Nelson: That's my wife you got there! That's my planet you're blowing up! And that's... that's just some guy I met, but still, I think this thing has gone just a little too far.
Rain: I spent five days searching for the perfect word to describe the husband and that's when I came up with "apucious."
Gabe: Apucious. I looked it up in the dictionary but I couldn't find it.
Rain: Yeah, I know. I made it up.
Gabe: Oh, really.
Rain: Yeah. I thought it described him perfectly.
Buddy Young, Jr.: I didn't take your life, Stan. I gave you one.
Stan: Yeah, but you coulda been nicer.
Tommy Korman: Now I shake your hand.
Tracy Cross: You think I like taking my clothes off in front of all those people? It makes me sick to my stomach.
Chris Cross: Then stop!
Tracy Cross: Honey... sometimes in life you gotta' do things that aren't so good... to get what is good. (00:50:15)
Dr. Robert Campbell: I gave Alka-Seltzer to a kid with a belly ache.
Dr. Rae Crane: You did what?
Dr. Robert Campbell: Alka-Seltzer. Cured him in one belch. It was the 'plop-plop'-'fizz-fizz' that really dazzled them.
Jennifer: You know what they say: an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Bonnie Sherow: How could you let him sell you out? What about truth? Reality?
Tom Oakley: What about the way the old ending tested in Canoga Park? Everybody hated it. We reshot it, now everybody loves it. - That's reality.
Jake Wyer: I got a plan. Full frontal assault.
Sam French: A full-frontal assault. That's your plan?
Jake Wyer: It's got the element of surprise.
Sam French: Suicide is always surprising.
Margaret Schlegel: I deny it's madness.
Henry Wilcox: But you said yourself.
Margaret Schlegel: It's madness when I say it, but not when you say it.
Chan Ka Kui: This is hard to memorize.
Insp. Jessica Yang: You're a super cop, and you have no memory?
Chan Ka Kui: It's the first I came across this situation. If I were you, could you recite everything in one go? I'm Chan Ka Kui, born July 4th, 1958. I joined the Royal HK Police in 1981. 19 -.
Insp. Jessica Yang: 1984, promoted to trainee inspector. Height: 5'10", weight: 73 kilos, blood type: AB. I'm nothing special. I've memorized your background.
Sarah Jane: Well, Mr. Anthony, I can tell you that no man has dressed up in my underclothes since the day my late husband died.
Charlie Chaplin: Syd, I love this country. I owe it everything. That's why I can make fun of it.
Paul Maclean: Couldn't you find him?
Norman Maclean: The hell with him.
Paul Maclean: Well, I thought we were supposed to help him.
Norman Maclean: How the hell do you help that son of a bitch?
Paul Maclean: By taking him fishing.
Norman Maclean: He doesn't like fishing. He doesn't like Montana and he sure as hell doesn't like me.
Paul Maclean: Well, maybe what he likes is somebody trying to help him.
Captain Soames: What?
Sheriff Ira: Cold Draft.
Captain Soames: Could you use one right now?
Sylvie Cooper: The fact that Fred hated ever human except me really meant something.