Professor Nikolias: Do you know how many children die every year from choking on french fries? Many more than from Adrenoleukodistrophy. You see, ours is what is known as an orphan disease, too small to be noticed, too small to be funded, especially with the iron hand of "Reganomics."
The Lieutenant: Get with the program.
Freddy Ross: How does anyone, dead as this, loose a knife?
Sylvie Cooper: The fact that Fred hated ever human except me really meant something.
Paul Cater: I didn't GET this car, I stole it. That's a felony.
Lurene Hallett: Well it shouldn't be if it can't go over forty.
Lane Bodine: I've never met anyone like you... you're honest, even when you lie.
Jake Wyer: I got a plan. Full frontal assault.
Sam French: A full-frontal assault. That's your plan?
Jake Wyer: It's got the element of surprise.
Sam French: Suicide is always surprising.
Peter Hoskins: What goes into one, Rita? A Long Island Iced Tea?
Rita Boyle: I'm sorry darling, I've forgotten.
Peter Hoskins: What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?
Rita Boyle: I'm on vacation.
Peter Hoskins: So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?
Rita Boyle: Peter, you're doing it again. You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it.
Al Bert: Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.
Andrew: It's shit with a capital "sh."
Sarah Jane: Well, Mr. Anthony, I can tell you that no man has dressed up in my underclothes since the day my late husband died.
Dr. Robert Campbell: I gave Alka-Seltzer to a kid with a belly ache.
Dr. Rae Crane: You did what?
Dr. Robert Campbell: Alka-Seltzer. Cured him in one belch. It was the 'plop-plop'-'fizz-fizz' that really dazzled them.
Jean-Baptiste: At age ten one doesn't know the world needs to be changed.
Newton Davis: What do you say, Gwen?"Gwen" do you get off... and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?
Margaret Schlegel: I deny it's madness.
Henry Wilcox: But you said yourself.
Margaret Schlegel: It's madness when I say it, but not when you say it.
Sirk, Raff's Son: What we lack in brains, we make up for with good intentions.
Charlie Chaplin: Syd, I love this country. I owe it everything. That's why I can make fun of it.