
Buffy: I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a school night.

Nick: Adam! Don't eat us.

Olaf Andersen: Now the question is, can we get the shit back into the horse?

Ben: If you kill a whale, you get Greenpeace and Jacques Cousteau on your back, but wipe out sardines and you get a canning subsidy.

Researcher: Is this room getting smaller or am I bloating?
Asian Researcher: What.
Leslie Zevo: Oh look, we're being attacked by a crossword puzzle.

Jake Wyer: I got a plan. Full frontal assault.
Sam French: A full-frontal assault. That's your plan?
Jake Wyer: It's got the element of surprise.
Sam French: Suicide is always surprising.

Gwen: Don't yell at me, we're only pretending to be married.

Dick Nelson: That's my wife you got there! That's my planet you're blowing up! And that's... that's just some guy I met, but still, I think this thing has gone just a little too far.

Daniel: Do you ever feel lost?
Claire Cooper: I invented it. It's mine.

Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?

Paul Matthews: You look familiar.
Prince Geoffrey: Yeah, I'm the Prince of England.

Roland T. Flakfizer: I'm all out of American currency. Here, take a fistful of Romanian fifties.