Olaf Andersen: Now the question is, can we get the shit back into the horse?
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Well I've got to do something to help these people.
Celia Kirby: Don't tell me you're actually developing a conscience.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: God I hope not, it's gonna be a fuckin' nuisance in Congress.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson waving a flag. We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson kissing babies. We're not going to show you Jeff Johnson doing anything because you already know what Jeff Johnson can do. Tomorrow, vote Jeff Johnson. The name you know.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Terry, tell me something. With all this money coming in from both sides, how does anything ever get done?
Terry Corrigan: It doesn't. That's the genius of the system.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Ask you to vote for Jeff Johnson. Good old Jeff. The name that you can trust. The name that you know. Jeff Johnson.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Hey, yo, Van Dyke.
Van Dyke: Yeah?
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Y'all remember Willie Sutton?
Van Dyke: My hero.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: What did he say when they asked him why he robbed banks?
Van Dyke: 'Cause that's where the money is.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: HEY, hey, hey, hey, HEY, hey, hey.
Elijah Hawkins: Come on, Thomas! You're Dick Dodge's yes-man.
Thomas Jefferson Johnson: I am not a yes-man. When Dick says no, I say no.