Guy of Gisbourne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more!
Gaston: How can you read this? There's no pictures!
Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.
Mike Waters: I love you, and you don't pay me.
Topper Harley: My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... It's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... Eat apple sauce through a straw... Pork farm animals.
Thomas J. Sennett: Vada?
Vada Sultenfuss: Yeah?
Thomas J. Sennett: Would you think of me?
Vada Sultenfuss: For what?
Thomas J. Sennett: Well, if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler.
Vada Sultenfuss: I guess.
Tom Wingo: Let's face it, Lowenstein. Women are more devious than men. You're great at hiding things. You keep secrets. You smile when you lie. You expect a man to be a tower of strength. When he's got a few weaknesses and insecurities, what do you do? You turn around, and goddamn it, you betray him.
Dani: I wanna know you.
Court Foster: You do know me.
Dani: I wanna know you more... I wanna know you all I can.
Court Foster: What do you wanna know?
Dani: I wanna know... your hopes.
Court Foster: Well... I hope your boobs will get bigger and your butt will fill out.
Nancy Lee Nicholson: Is that a star?
Hank Gordon: No, that's Ted Danson.
Gator Purify: I swear before God... and four more white people! This is the last time.
Daniel Miller: Is this Heaven?
Bob Diamond: No, it isn't Heaven.
Daniel Miller: Is it Hell?
Bob Diamond: Nope, it isn't Hell either. Actually, there is no Hell. Although I hear Los Angeles is getting pretty close.
Kate Sullivan: For someone who doesn't have anything nice to say about lawyers you certainly have plenty of them around.
Lawrence Garfield: They're like nuclear warheads. They have theirs, so I have mine. Once you use them they f - - everything up.
Jack Lucas: Jack Lucas: I can't believe I'm on a first name basis with these people.
Marie: You poor thing. Who does your hair?
Sonora: Well, I do.
Marie: Sonora, you have to be extremely careful with your appearance. I mean, having no natural beauty of your own you really need to help yourself.
Johnny: What's up Slick?
Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: You think with a statement like this you can have the duck?
Chef: He can have the chicken.
Ralph Jones: There's no problem that can't be ignored if we really put our minds to it.
Dr. Alex Tremor: Did you forget our appointment?
Eugene: I got a job now. I don't need a shrink anymore.
Marina Lemke: Eugene, honey, I don't think he likes being called that.
Sarah Hargrave: I may be young, captain, but I have spent three years in a climate of fearsome heat, with insects as big as rats and rats as big as cats! I can certainly deal with deck and down with fever.
Jason Williamson: You were in the marines?
Hollywood Montrose: Yes they were looking for a few good men and... so was I.