Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Arugula. I haven't had arugula in six weeks.
Supermarket Manager: What's that?
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: It's a vegetable.
Frank White: From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn.
Henry Hill: What happened?
Jimmy Conway: They whacked him. They fucking whacked him. I can't fucking believe it.
Verna: Leo's got the right idea. I like him, he's honest and he's got a heart.
Tom Reagan: Then it's true what they say. Opposites attract.
Casey Jones: This is great. First it was The Farm That Time Forgot and now this. Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos? Probably hard to get good maid service in a sewer. Maybe you guys should try Roto Rooter, huh?
Jerry Lambert: And you told me, lieutenant, "the only way you survive down here is because you're a team." "The door swings both ways," remember?
Officer Allen: We're looking for the man with the hands.
Carl: Seen my gloves, compadre?
James: In the glove compartemente.
Ernest P. Worrell: Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."
Mason Storm: So, how come you're not watching the Oscars tonight?
Counterman: The Oscars?
Mason Storm: Yeah, the Oscars.
Counterman: I hate the Oscars.
Mason Storm: You're not having a good time, huh?
Counterman: I mean, who needs the goddamn movies anyway? I got a show in here every single night.
Mason Storm: Yeah?
Counterman: You've got horror, sex, freaks, violence. I don't got to pay no four bucks either.
Dick Tracy: Is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or the enemy of my friend my enemy?
Pat Patton: What?
Dick Tracy: Or enemy of my enemy my enemy?
Pat Patton: What'd he say?
Dick Tracy: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
Sam Catchem: He said the enemy of his enemy is his enemy.
Pat Patton: Oh.
Screwface: Everybody want go heaven. Nobody want dead. Afraid.
Barbara Sabich: You're still in love with her.
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Barbara Sabich: Then what was it?
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Jackie Flannery: They don't even want to call it "Hell's Kitchen" no more. Renamed it "Clinton." Sounds like a fucking steamboat.
Violet Kray: I don't think it's possible to love someone too much but I think you can love them in the wrong way.
Miss Bianca: Come on, darling. Let's get a move out.
Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.