Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: And in the end, I realised that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.
Sadie Ratliff: You're in America now. Speak American.
Alice Baxter: Maybe now would be a good time to go over what you expect of me.
Tess McGill: I expect you to call me Tess. I don't expect you to fetch me coffee unless you're getting some for yourself. And the rest we'll just make up as we go along.
Mac: Are we limp and hard to manage?
Vincent: Women love men who are mysterious and devious, keeps them on their toes, it excites them. You know what I mean?
Julius: No.
Vincent: You do like women?
Julius: Oh, very much so. They're strange and sensitive. They have compassion. I have the highest respect for women.
Vincent: You're a virgin!
Julius: That's private.
Vincent: A 230-pound virgin.
Elizabeth Farmer: I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! you know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it.
Andy Farmer: I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in.
Kid: That's an iguana. It's real big lizard. You can eat it, but it tastes like shit. Right, Mick?
King of the Moon: I think, therefore you is.
Ruby: Most people our age are a pain in the ass.
Bernie: Most people our age are dead.
Officer Curtis Mooney: Police station, Mooney here...What? Oh, they took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police pal, you need a psychiatrist!
Brenda: Joey, I'm not into dead guys.
Ernest: I have lived my life in the fast lane.
Roadrash: Must have been a rowdy crowd tonight.
Daryle: Think of all the clothes I could have bought in Europe.
Billy: Ahh forget it. None of us speak European anyway.
Tara: They are gardeners and carpenters, they are not tomato men.
Peter Loew: I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire.
Garfield: In my first life, I formulated many of my likes and dislikes. I disliked my rock bed. On the other hand, you wouldn't believe the size of the pterodon drumsticks.