Brenda: Joey, I'm not into dead guys.
Jesse Wilson: Hello? Hello, is there anybody out there? Come in, come in. Can you hear me? Is anybody out there? Hello? Can you tell us where to go?
Special Zombie: Come to the hospital.
Jesse Wilson: Sure, we'll be right there.
Doc Mandel: Hold it, hold it! Uh, pardon me, but would you mind telling me who the President of the United States is?
Special Zombie: Um, Harry Truman.
Jesse Wilson: Who's Harry Truman?
Tom Essex: They want brains, we'll give them brains.
Lucy Wilson: Look, they're ugly and they're dirty and they're dumb, and I don't even care if they are dead. I hate 'em, there's no way they're touching me.
Zombie: Brrraaaaainnnnssss.
Doc Mandel: Harvey, it wasn't my fault. We ran out of type O.
Doc Mandel: Hardly anything to get excited about, it's only a severed hand.
Joey: But they smell so good... so spicy.
Brenda: Take me.
Joey: Let me eat your braaaiiiiiinnnnn.
Brenda: Is it cancer?
Doc Mandel: If we're lucky.
Tarman: Brains! Brains! I want, live brain! Brains! Brains.