Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you private?
Private: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Penny: Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.
Adrian Cronauer: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
Tom Farrell: Let's get out of here.
Susan Atwell: My date's not going to like that much. But what the hell, his wife will be delighted.
Marilla Cuthbert: Every baby is the sweetest and the best.
Charlie: Ten more seconds and I'm leaving! Ten-
Roxanne: What did you say?
Charlie: I said ten more seconds and I'm leaving.
Roxanne: Oh.
Charlie: What did you think I said?
Roxanne: I thought you said earn more sessions by sleeving.
Charlie: What does that mean?
Roxanne: I don't know. That's why I came out.
Ronny Cammareri: I ain't no freakin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?
Lincoln Hawk: I always wanted to be a milk shake.
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
Judge: Why do you people call yourselves black? You look more brown than black.
Steve Biko: Why do you call yourselves white? You look more pink than white.
Gordon Gekko: I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.
Jimmy Malone: He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!
Watts: Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy and I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me. 'Cause I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith. The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me and my drums and you.
Sgt. Gustav Wagner: This morning, two prisoners escaped from North Camp. Thirteen other prisoners, no doubt inspired by their idiotic example, also tried to escape. If any of you would like to cheer, go right ahead. There will be no more escape attempts in this camp. I'll repeat that. there will be no more escape attempts in this camp.
Tom Granick: It's amazing who's here.
Jane Craig: Who?
Tom Granick: Me.
Maxton: I heard you resigned from the Scouts.
Jim: I've become an atheist.
Joe Kenehan: You think this man is the enemy? Huh? This is a worker! Any union keeps this man out ain't a union, it's a goddam club! They got you fightin' white against colored, native against foreign, hollow against hollow, when you know there ain't but two sides in this world - them that work and them that don't. You work, they don't. That's all you get to know about the enemy.
Bob Morales: Look it's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard, Man they make cartoons here.