Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you private?
Private: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Penny: Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.
Adrian Cronauer: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
Tom Farrell: Let's get out of here.
Susan Atwell: My date's not going to like that much. But what the hell, his wife will be delighted.
Marilla Cuthbert: Every baby is the sweetest and the best.
Charlie: Ten more seconds and I'm leaving! Ten-
Roxanne: What did you say?
Charlie: I said ten more seconds and I'm leaving.
Roxanne: Oh.
Charlie: What did you think I said?
Roxanne: I thought you said earn more sessions by sleeving.
Charlie: What does that mean?
Roxanne: I don't know. That's why I came out.
Lincoln Hawk: I always wanted to be a milk shake.
Ronny Cammareri: I ain't no freakin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
Gordon Gekko: This is the kid, calls me 59 days in a row, wants to be a player. There ought to be a picture of you in the dictionary under persistence, kid.
Judge: Why do you people call yourselves black? You look more brown than black.
Steve Biko: Why do you call yourselves white? You look more pink than white.
Jimmy Malone: He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!
Joe Kenehan: You think this man is the enemy? Huh? This is a worker! Any union keeps this man out ain't a union, it's a goddam club! They got you fightin' white against colored, native against foreign, hollow against hollow, when you know there ain't but two sides in this world - them that work and them that don't. You work, they don't. That's all you get to know about the enemy.
Bob Morales: Look it's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard, Man they make cartoons here.
Washburn: Oh man, if you can't fry it, I won't eat it.
Rapist: Who the fuck are you?
Paul Kersey: Death.
Duncan: We're gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level. Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt anyone. We're not even gonna touch 'em. We're just gonna make 'em cry a little, just by lookin' at 'em.
Patrick Morenski: Okay, on one end of the spectrum you've got homo, and on the other you've got hetero. Then there's me, way the fuck over here.