Lynda Mansell: Up your bum.
Reverend Chester: I believe that I've got a job for you.
Francis Phelan: I worked today up at the cemetery.
Reverend Chester: Splendid.
Francis Phelan: Well, shovelin' dirt ain't all that splendid.
Dr. Herbert A. Morrison: Would you like a cup of coffee?
Claudia Draper: Not unless there's Thorazine in it.
Dr. Herbert A. Morrison: Sorry, only milk and sugar.
Claudia Draper: Pass.
Kenneth Halliwell: I can't remember when you last touched my cock. Well, I can actually. It was about two years ago. Only I can't remember the actual date. Pity. I could have put it in my diary. "The last time Joe touched my cock. Grouse shooting begins"
Ricky Caldwell: My old lady couldn't afford to send me to college. So I got a job. I was washing dishes, dumping trash... all that sort of shit. I think you're gonna like this next part. It sounded like some squirrel getting his nuts squeezed.
Patti Rasnick: Music is all that matters. One hour on stage makes up for the other 23.
Alex Forrest: You're here with a strange girl being a naughty boy.
Dan Gallagher: I don't think having dinner with anybody's a crime.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.