Han: Gentlemen, welcome. You honor our island. I look forward to a tournament of truly epic proportions. We are unique, gentlemen, in that we create ourselves... through long years of rigorous training, sacrifice, denial, pain. We forge our bodies in the fire of our will. But tonight, let us celebrate. Gentlemen, you have our gratitude.
Porthos: May one ask - delicately - the cause in which we're expected to die?
Aramis: When you go on a campaign, does the King give his reasons? He says, "Porthos, fight!" and you fight.
Porthos: Oh, I do, I do.
Aramis: Then let's go and be killed where we're told to! Is life worth so many questions?
Luna: It's hard to believe you haven't had sex in two hundred years.
Miles: Two hundred and four if you count my marriage.
A no. 1: Country's gone to hell.
Wilbur: Are you writers?
Charlotte's daughters: No, but we will be when we grow up.
Wilbur: Then write this in your webs, when you learn: This hallowed doorway was once the home of Charlotte. She was brilliant, beautiful, and loyal to the end. Her memory will be treasured forever.
Charlotte's daughters: Ooh, that would take us a lifetime.
Wilbur: A lifetime. That's what we have.
Caesar: Ah, if only my mother and father, whom I was too young to remember... If only they'd lived, perhaps they would have taught me if it was right to kill evil so that good shall prevail.
MacDonald: But you know, Caesar, history shows.
Caesar: Oh no, no, no. That is human history, not ape history. Ape, never kills ape.
Ray: See that man! That's fuckin' pigs blood. If I was scared it would have been my blood.
Linus van Pelt: What are you going to do on Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: My mother and dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.
Sally Brown: Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
Linus van Pelt: Blah.
Oswald Imposter: Why don't you take a flying screw at the moon and charge it to me?
Lynn Forshay: Let me give you one piece of advice, one old salt to another... Ah, to hell with advice.
Mr. Bromley: It's not enough to boggle David, actions speak louder than boggles.
Kit Carruthers: You Tired?
Holly Sargis: Yeah.
Kit Carruthers: Yeah, you look tired... Listen, honey. When all this is over, I'm going to sit down and buy you a big, thick steak.
Holly Sargis: I don't want a steak.
Kit Carruthers: Well, we'll see about that... Hey, lookie.
Charlie: I'm as old as the hills. Mama delivered me herself. She took me from between her legs, bloody little mess. She's about to feed me to the chickens. And daddy said, "Maybe we could use a boy lottie." That's how I came into the world.
T.J. Bracken: Pete Bracken! I oughta kill you, ya horny bastard! That there's your sister! What the hell you tryin'a do? Get her knocked up with some dimwit kid turn out like you? Huh?
Harve Poole: Incompetence is the worst form of corruption.
Hellman: Isn't that just like a woman? She wants to be treated like a man... and then she cries.
Dr. Leah Jansen: And those jawfish! The ones I've seen have been only two inches long. Look at them.
Dutch Schnell: Skip the facts, just gimme the details.
Harold DeMilo: Are you blackmailing me Mr Mahoney?
Curtis Mahoney: Goodness no... I'm just an average person with an above average curiosity... and of course I don't make make friends easy.