Ray: See that man! That's fuckin' pigs blood. If I was scared it would have been my blood.
Charlie Brown: Holidays always depress me.
Sally Brown: I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
Charlie Brown: For Christmas, already?
Oswald Imposter: Why don't you take a flying screw at the moon and charge it to me?
Maggie Paul: Why is it everybody else gets chicken and I always get the feathers?
Mr. Bromley: It's not enough to boggle David, actions speak louder than boggles.
Hope Springs: It's not her fault she has to wear a falsie.
Sid Fiddler: What do you mean, "a" falsie?
Hope Springs: She's got one bigger than the other.
Sid Fiddler: Is that right?
Hope Springs: No, left.
Charlie: I'm as old as the hills. Mama delivered me herself. She took me from between her legs, bloody little mess. She's about to feed me to the chickens. And daddy said, "Maybe we could use a boy lottie." That's how I came into the world.
Caesar: Ah, if only my mother and father, whom I was too young to remember... If only they'd lived, perhaps they would have taught me if it was right to kill evil so that good shall prevail.
MacDonald: But you know, Caesar, history shows.
Caesar: Oh no, no, no. That is human history, not ape history. Ape, never kills ape.
Harve Poole: Incompetence is the worst form of corruption.
Hellman: Isn't that just like a woman? She wants to be treated like a man... and then she cries.
Dr. Leah Jansen: And those jawfish! The ones I've seen have been only two inches long. Look at them.
Dutch Schnell: Skip the facts, just gimme the details.
Harold DeMilo: Are you blackmailing me Mr Mahoney?
Curtis Mahoney: Goodness no... I'm just an average person with an above average curiosity... and of course I don't make make friends easy.
Dan Freeman: You have just played out the American dream... and now, we're gonna turn it into a nightmare.
Mike: You'll like Bath... better class of fuck in Bath.
Peregrine Devlin: You begin to resent an actor if you always have to give him bad notices.