Quotes from Woody Allen movies and TV shows - page 7 of 8

Dick: He was always very fussy.
Allan: Yes, but look at the results.
Dick: Yes, you never went out.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?
Linda: Unless you have apple juice.
Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together.
Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?
Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.
Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Allan: I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

Allan: I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Allan: No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.

Ray: I think she's developing a crush on her teacher, David.
May Sloane: Yeah. Well, you know, he's very good-looking, and he's really bright and very charming. And he's very elegant.
Ray: Okay, May, I got the picture. It's all right.
May Sloane: Well, when you're right, you're right.
Ray: Thank you.

Ray: You know? Frenchy eats frog's legs.
May Sloane: It's supposed to taste like chicken.
Ray: Rabbit.
May Sloane: Rabbit tastes like frog's legs?
Ray: No, forget it, forget it.

Ray: Remember my nickname when we were in the joint?
Benny: The Brain?
Ray: The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?
Benny: But, Ray! That was sarcastic.

Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?

Ray: Your cousin May is dumb like a horse, or a dog or something.

Ray: Can we change the music, please? Because I feel like I should be wearing a wig.
Frenchy: You will be in a couple of years.

Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.

Ray: You see this? See how beautiful it is?
Frenchy: Yeah.
Ray: See what you're seeing there? It's not just New Jersey. When we first met, there was a sunset it was just like this. Remember that?
Frenchy: Yeah. In New Jersey, but in Colombia there was an earthquake.

Ray: What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?
Benny: Burn it down.
Ray: What do you mean, "burn it down"? You're still burning stuff down for insurance?
Benny: I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

Ray: I gotta get some air. I'm going up on the roof.
Frenchy: Don't jump! You're too valuable as a dishwasher.

Ray: Ever heard of the Polish carpool? Every day they meet at work.

Ray: What is this?
Frenchy: It's a Damon Dexter. A discovery of David's.
Ray: Yeah? I say it's depressing.
Frenchy: Knock it off. You wouldn't know a masterpiece if it bit you in the ass.
Ray: I refuse to look at this, Frenchy.
Frenchy: And what's that supposed to mean?
Ray: It means as long as this is there on the wall, I don't look at that wall.

Ray: Very funny. You should be on tv.
Frenchy: I am! Open your eyes.

Ray: I'm no genius, believe me, I'm no genius.
Frenchy: Yeah, you don't have to sell me.

David: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at? What would you say is the most significant difference?
Ray: Me? I'd say the frame's bigger here.