Quotes from Seth Rogen movies and TV shows

Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.

Kyle: She doesn't blow you?
Adam: ...She doesn't like to.
Kyle: Of course she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth.

Kyle: You smell like you fucked the cast of The View.

Rachael: Why am I the bad guy?
Kyle: Because you're his girlfriend, you cheated on him, and he has fucking cancer, you lunatic!

Raphael: That was fucking weird.
Sandy: At this point, it would be fucking weird if he didn't do something that was fucking weird. (01:20:50)

Quantom X ★

George Simmons: So, Ira Wright? That's not your real name. You're hiding some Judaism.
Ira Wright: I don't think I can hide that. My face is circumcised.

Laura: I used to do a lot of TV, like 90210. I always played bitchy parts.
Ira Wright: You must have been a good actress, because you don't seem like a bitch to me.

George Simmons: I'm surprised nothing happened with you and that girl.
Ira Wright: She told me she had a boyfriend.
George Simmons: She told me the same thing, when she was sucking my cock.

Ira Wright: Fuck Facebook in the face!

Kato: I was born in Shanghai. You know Shanghai?
Britt Reid: Yeah, I love Japan.

Britt Reid: Think about this, Kato. We've been completely wasting our potential. This city needs our help. We could be heroes! We will pose as villains to get close to the bad guys. That way, no one will suspect we're really the good guys. Will you come with me on this adventure?

Britt Reid: Kato, we have a secret mission.

Joyce Brewster: You want me to go to one of Gayle's miserable singles event? That's what you want? You want me whoring myself out? Put on a thong?
Andrew Brewster: I'm going to sleep now, Ma.

Joyce Brewster: Promise me you'll never pick up a hitchhiker, okay?
Andrew Brewster: I promise I will never pick up a hitchhiker.
Joyce Brewster: Good. They rape.

Joyce Brewster: Ou know, I spent almost 30 years of my life thinking I didn't matter to someone who mattered a great deal to me. I got the answer I needed. I did. It's like Anita always says.
Andrew Brewster: Oh, God.
Joyce Brewster: When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Andrew Brewster: That's actually good advice.

Aaron Rapaport: I packed like a fool! Like a goddamn fool.

Dave Skylark: When you score a Bin Laden, or a Hitler, or an Un, you take it by the balls! It's the first rule of journalism. You give the people what they waaant.
Aaron Rapaport: That's not the first rule of journalism. I think it's like the first rule of like circuses and demolition derbies.

Aaron Rapaport: It's that Katy fucking Perry?
Dave Skylark: Leave it on! It helps me to concentrate.

Aaron Rapaport: Damn, she was sexy.

Aaron Rapaport: Dude! The fuck, man! That was John Kerry's office.
Dave Skylark: Forget this oak tree looking fuck! This is top sense! The Times' heading about... about North Korea, read the bottom... after all that... the death camp shit.
Aaron Rapaport: Although Kim Jong-un rallies his people with cries for the destruction of the United States of America, he is known to be an affluent consumer of American entertainment. His favorite shows are Big Bang Theory... and Skylark tonight.