Quotes from Seth Rogen movies and TV shows - page 3 of 4

Mac Radner: I'll call my mother she'll know what to do.
Kelly Radner: Do not call your mother! Jesus, you Jews and your fucking mothers.

Officer Watkins: You called about your neighbors?
Mac Radner: No.
Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.

Mac Radner: They're using their sexuality as a weapon.

Kelly Radner: And the truth is they are lovely girls.
Mac Radner: Yes, super nice girls.
Jessica Baiers: Well, I don't think that they are because we literary saw them robbing your house.
Kelly Radner: Oh, thanks for fucking stopping them.

Betsy: You have been such a rock throughout this whole pregnancy. You are like my dwayne johnson.
Isaac: Thank you.

Graeme Willy: You are an alien!
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme Willy: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: *Why* does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?

Paul: This is America. Kidnapping a Christian is worse than harboring a fugitive.

Clive Gollings: Agent Mulder was right!
Paul: Agent Mulder was my idea!

Angie Anderson: Fuck you Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
Dale Denton: Like two and a half.
Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What the fuck does that mean? Your hand?

Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.

Saul: Start the car man, start the car!
Dale Denton: Yea, you see, me doing that and you saying it is obviously helping.
Saul: Well start it!
Dale Denton: I can't...the batteries are must be dead.
Saul: What do you mean the batteries are dead?
Dale Denton: The batteries are dead...I don't know any other way to possibly explain this to you.

Dale Denton: What the fuck's in there, a rancor!?

Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!

Steve Wozniak: What do you do? You're not an engineer. You're not a designer. You can't put a hammer to a nail. I built the circuit board! The graphical interface was stolen! So how come ten times in a day I read Steve Jobs is a genius? What do you do?
Steve Jobs: Musicians play their instruments. I play the orchestra.

Steve Wozniak: We will know soon enough if you are Leonardo da Vinci or just think you are.

Steve Wozniak: They want ports.
Steve Jobs: They don't get a vote. When Dylan wrote "Shelter from the Storm" he didn't ask people to contribute to the lyrics. Plays don't stop so the playwright can ask the audience what scene they'd like to see next.

Steve Wozniak: It's not binary. You can be decent and gifted at the same time.

Officer Michaels: Yeah McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
Fogell: It's not the "going" I'm worried about... But the "coming."

Officer Michaels: Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!

Officer Slater: May we see your identification? [Takes it.] McLovin? [pauses.] That's a cool name.
Fogell: Wha... Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck."
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was spelled "Ph, " but still that's pretty jarring to see on a drivers license.