Tim the Bear: Arianna. Robert. I walked in on them. They were playing Hide The Salman Rushdie.
Quotes from Seth MacFarlane movies and TV shows
When You Wish Upon a Weinstein - S3-E22
Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
Barely Legal - S5-E8
Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].
Road to the Multiverse - S8-E1
[Stewie and Brian are in the Robot Chicken Universe.]
Stewie: So, how does it feel to be on a major network for fifteen minutes?
Chris: FUCK YOU!
Meg Griffin: I just want to kill myself. I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
[Lois and Peter stare in silence.]
Meg Griffin: I'm allergic to peanuts.
[Peter and Lois keep staring.]
Meg Griffin: You don't know anything about me! [Runs upstairs.]
Peter Griffin: Who was that guy?
Peter Griffin: Your Honor, I call to the stand my surprise witness: The Ghost That Never Lies.
Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOH!
Peter Griffin: But only I can see him and hear him, so I'll tell you what he's doing and saying.
Child Welfare Agent: Objection, Your Honor! This is ridiculous!
Judge: Objection overruled. I'll allow it. You had better be going somewhere with this, Mr. Griffin.
Peter Griffin: Thank you, Your Honor. Ghost That Never Lies, did you witness the events that took place on that fateful day? You did. Well, how interesting. And do you see the culprit or culprits in this courtroom today? You do. Well, would you kindly point him or them out for this court? Don't point at me, you jackass!
Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.
Stewie: Lois! I've got a gift for you. I'll give you a hint - it's in my pants and it's not a toaster.
Something, Something, Something, Dark Side - S8-E20
Lois Griffin: I love you.
Peter Griffin: Fuck off.
Peter: [to Lois.] Yeah, you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time, and I'M the man.
Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3
Peter: Hey, Lois, look. The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant, and a big, fat white guy who's threatened by change.
Tree: Hot enough for ya?
Peter: Wha-what?
Tree: I say, hot enough for ya?
Peter: Uh, yeah, I guess...Oh my God I'm... I'm communicating with nature! Uh uh, hey um... tree! If one of you falls and there's no-one around. D-do you make a noise?
Tree: Are you kidding? Scott fell last week, he hasn't shut up about it since!
Scott: Sure! Stand there and bitch! But would any of you take the time to help me!?
Tree #3: Ooh ooh, I'm playing the world's smallest violin, Scott. (00:17:38)
Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother? - S3-E14
Officer: Hey, I recognize you. You're that black guy I saw on TV.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, that's me.
Officer: [Into radio.] We have a stolen vehicle.
Peter Griffin: This is my...
Officer: [Into radio.] Subject getting beligerant.
Peter Griffin: I'm not...
Officer: [Into radio.] Officer down.
Brian Griffin: If I remember correctly, this is the Physics department.
Chris Griffin: That explains all the gravity.
Peter Griffin: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.
Peter Griffin: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian Griffin: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.