Quotes from Robin Williams movies and TV shows - page 7 of 10

Tom Dobbs: This makes golf look like porn.

Tom Dobbs: You can't spend $200 million running for office without owing something to somebody. Those who can't afford lobbyists have no advocate. The Statue of Liberty says, "Give me your tired, your poor." Government says, "Give me your wealthy, your gifted, your endowed."

Tom Dobbs: How many analogies do you have left?
Jack Menken: How many does it take to make my point?

Tom Dobbs: Even in the face of tyranny, there is comedy. Remember those two Jewish commandos who were sent to kill Hitler at 12:30? They waited in an alley with guns, bombs and knives... only Hitler didn't show up. After half an hour came and went, still no Hitler. Finally, one Jew turns to the other and says, "My God, I hope nothing happened to him."

Tom Dobbs: ...You know, Italy just elected a porn star to their senate. Which is wonderful, because that means no sex scandals - just great posters and incredible downloads.

Tom Dobbs: The president wants to pass an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Anybody who's been married knows it's always the same sex.

Tom Dobbs: Why would security guards pad down an 85-year-old lady with a walker? If she's a terrorist... well, then the ball game's over, folks.

Tom Dobbs: Remember this, ladies and gentlemen: it's an old phrase, basically anonymous. Politicians are a lot like diapers: they should be changed frequently and for the same reason. Keep that in mind next time you vote. Goodnight!

Mork's Mixed Emotions - S1-E20

Orson: You opened the door to your emotions, didn't you?
Mork: Yes, Sir.
Orson: You realise you've broken the highest Orkan law. It is my duty to report you to the Council.
Mork: I understand. But I don't regret what I've done, sir. You see, for the first time in my life, I feel really alive, I feel fantastic! Oh, I wish you could try it! I wish you could feel some of the things I've been feeling!
Orson: Impossible. I could never do that. They'd throw me in prison.
Mork: Oh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, your immenseness, but until you can marvel at a rainbow after a storm or rejoice at seeing a baby walk for the first time, or hold someone and have them feel the same warmth inside as you feel close to them outside - until you can do these things, aren't you already in prison?

Vladimir Ivanoff: In Moscow we fought for an inch of freedom! Here you take it and pour shit all over it.

Vladimir Ivanoff: That be two big Macs, one quarter pounder with cheese, six pieces chicken McNuggets, two boxes Ronald McDonald cookies, one order McFries, two chocolate McShakes. Meh that to go?
Woman in McDonalds: No, I eat it here.
Vladimir Ivanoff: Come back McSoon.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Yesterday I bought my first pair of American shoes. They were made in Italy.

Mrs. Doubtfire: I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but... How was he? You know, on a scale of 1 to 10?
Miranda: Well, that part was always... Okay.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Just okay? Well, he was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.
Miranda: What was the matter with Winston?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh dear, Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."

Miranda: What happened?
Mrs. Doubtfire: He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him.
Miranda: How awful. He was an alcoholic?
Mrs. Doubtfire: No, he was hit by a Guinness truck.

Mrs. Doubtfire: My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.

Daniel: Did you ever wish you could sometimes freeze frame a moment in your day, look at it and say "this is not my life"?

Bus Driver: [after noticing Mrs. Doubtfire has hairy legs.] I like that Mediterranean look in women. Natural, healthy. Just the way God made you.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Well, He broke the mold when He made me. He made me very special.
Bus Driver: He sure did.

Miranda: Hello, are you calling in response to the ad?
Daniel: Uh-huh
Miranda: Tell me, who was your previous employer?
Daniel: I was in a band, 'Severe Tire Damage'.
Miranda: In a band?
Daniel: I just want to know one thing. Are your kids well-behaved? Or do they need like, a few light slams every now and then?
Miranda: Umm, I'll have to get back to you.

Daniel: Well, let's take a little vacation together with the kids, as a family - get you away from work. You're a different person. You really are. You're great.
Miranda: Oh, Daniel, our problems would be waiting for us right here when we got back.
Daniel: Well, we'll move, and maybe our problems won't follow us.
Miranda: Daniel, please don't joke.
Daniel: OK.
Miranda: Yeah. It's just that we've grown apart. We're different. We have nothing in common.
Daniel: Sure we do. We love each other. Come on, Miranda, we love each other... Don't we?
Miranda: I want a divorce.

Daniel: I got off early.
Lydie: You mean you got fired?
Daniel: No, I quit. For reasons of conscience.