Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it.
Ramon: Just a moment. I hear people wanting something... ME!
Peter Pan: I remember you being a lot bigger.
Captain Hook: To a ten year-old I'm huge.
Shoe-Stealing Pirate: I fancy them shiny shoes for my booty!
Peter: Well, I think you can get them at Armani.
Wendy: Boy, why are you crying?
Peter: I don't know. A tear for every happy thought.
Pappass: Places change like people change.
Pappass: I'm not retarded anymore.
Tom Warshaw: Oh really?
Pappass: Really.
Tom Warshaw: When did that happen?
Pappass: Aww, 1984. Sometime in the spring. I went from retard to mentally handicapped. And then in 1987-88, I went from handicapped to challenged. I changed again. I'm probably changing right now, you know. Who knows what I'll be next?
Pappass: If you make a wish and don't tell nobody, it could come true.
Sarah Whittle: A little rain never hurt anybody.
Alan Parrish: Yeah, but a lot can kill ya.
Reverend Frank: By the power of God and the minister of National Security and Justice of Ocho Rios, Jamaica... I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Ben Murphy: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Reverend Frank: Sure.
Ben Murphy: When did you really know that we were ready to get married?
Reverend Frank: The moment you told Joel that Sadie wasn't a fish, I knew it was meant to be. Besides, anybody who kicks a reverend's ass for his woman, you're A-okay in my book.
Tom Dobbs: If Mama Cass had shared a lunch with Karen Carpenter, both would still be alive today... What do I think of gay marriage? I believe gays have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
Tom Dobbs: Freedom of religion means practicing any religion you want, anytime and anywhere you want. Like being a Jewish Buddhist: all you do is sit and wait for stuff to go on sale.
Tom Dobbs: If you tell a bad joke, you can put a laugh track over it - but the joke's still not funny.
Tom Dobbs: HMOs will pay for your Viagra, but they won't pay for your glasses. So you can have a hard-on, but you can't see where to put it.
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