Quotes from Michael Keaton movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Hunt Stevenson: Afterwards we have a few beers and piss for distance.
Kazihiro: For us it's accuracy.

Maggie Peyton: What's really your problem with me racing?
Ray Peyton Sr.: 'Cause you're the spittin' image of your mom... and... I can't lose her twice.

Danny Vermin: I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.
Johnny Dangerously: You know, Danny, I think you get too much sugar in your diet.

Johnny Dangerously: Hey Pope, why don't you go build yourself a new gym at the Vatican.

Johnny Dangerously: Alright here it is. Johnny Dangerously is going legit.
Member of Dundee's gang: Le-what?
Johnny Dangerously: Legit.
Charley: Le-why?
Danny Vermin: I'll tell you le-why. Because Johnny Dangerously is really Johnny Kelly, brother of the D.A., Tommy Kelly.

Tommy Kelly: You were gonna take a bullet for me.
Johnny Kelly: Actually, I was just counting on a lot of missing.

Chorus Girl: I'm not wearing a bra, Johnny.
Johnny Dangerously: Yeah? Well that makes two of us.

Johnny Kelly: Say kid, what do they call you?
Lil: Impressive.

Johnny Dangerously: The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.
Lil: Did you know you're last name is an adverb?

Johnny Dangerously: The years hadn't softened Moronie. He continued to murder the English Language, and anyone who got in his way.

Johnny Kelly: Hi Dr. Magnus. How's my mother?
Dr. Magnus: It's her thyroid, Johnny.
Johnny Kelly: What's wrong with it?
Dr. Magnus: We can't find it. Gonna have to do a thyroid search.
Johnny Kelly: How much is that gonna cost?
Dr. Magnus: You're in luck. This week a special. $999 dollars.

Johnny Dangerously: I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to. What's your last name?
Hood: Binzerhoff.
Johnny Dangerously: Binzerhoff? Perfect. Keep that name and you'll stay out of trouble.

Richard Roth: Hi. Richard Roth. Don't call me 'Dick'.
Robert Wiener: Robert Wiener. Don't call me 'Dick', either.

Customs Inspector: 23 bottles of vodka?
Robert Wiener: There was supposed to be 24. Shit.
Customs Inspector: For personal use?
Robert Wiener: Yeah.
Customs Inspector: You are an alcoholic.
Robert Wiener: You're a customs inspector. We all have our parts to play.

Ingrid Formanek: Say this - "La tapar, ana Sahaffi."
Robert Wiener: La tapar, ana Sahaffi.
Ingrid Formanek: Pretty good.
Robert Wiener: What does it mean?
Ingrid Formanek: "Don't shoot, I'm a journalist."

Doug #2: [seeing Doug #1] Is that it?
Dr. Leeds: No. I'm afraid you're it.
Doug #2: What do you mean? I can't be it. You mean, you think I'm the clone?
Dr. Leeds: That's right.
Doug #2: I can't be the clone, I'm me. He's gotta be the clone.
Doug #1: No, see I'm, I'm me. I'm me. I'm me, right?

Bishop73

Rembrandt: You can't buy back your past, Anna, can't change where you came from, but you can change where you're going.
Anna: Where would that be?

Raymond Sellars: What is bigger than a hero?
Rick Mattox: A dead hero.

Raymond Sellars: Make him more tactical. Let's go with black.

Ken: And this... Well, this is where I live. It's got a disco, it's got a dune buggy, and a whole room just for trying on clothes.