Fred: Did somebody order the rape?
Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.
Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.
Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.
Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
Nick: You don't know what it's like to be straight, OK? It's... awful.
Nick: Why would you buy these pants?
Norah: It reminds me of this part of Judaism that I really like. It's called Tikun Olam. It says that the world's been broken into pieces and it's everybody's job to find them and put them back together again.
Nick: Well maybe we're the pieces. Maybe we are not supposed to find the pieces. Maybe we are the pieces.
Norah: Nick? I'm coming in.
Nick: You don't have to yell. It's not a train station. We're in a tiny car.
Nick: I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.
Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.
Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
Wallace Wells: Guess who's drunk!
Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
Wallace Wells: You guess right!
Scott's Computer: You've got mail.
Scott Pilgrim: Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
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