Quotes from Keanu Reeves movies and TV shows

Mika: My father taught me this world was only a preparation for the next, that all we can ask is that we leave it having loved and being loved.
Kai: I will search for you through 1,000 worlds and 10,000 lifetimes until I find you.
Mika: I will wait for you in all of them.

Tengu Lord: Was it worth it what you found in the outside world? The love of a woman you can never have?
Kai: Yes.
Tengu Lord: No matter what you do, Mika will never be yours in this life.
Kai: Then I will go to my death and pray I find her in the next.

Basho: Kai, I have a confession to make. When I was a boy, I used to wait in the woods outside your hut and when you came out, I threw stones at you and hide.
Kai: I knew it was you. I could see your belly sticking out from behind the trees.
Basho: I'm sorry, Kai. You're a good man.

[Dead Bill S. Preston almost falls down when climbing around in Hell.]
Dead Bill: Ted.
Dead Ted: Yeah?
Dead Bill: If I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
Dead Ted: But, dude, we're already dead.
Dead Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

Ted: You are a most excellent scientist, Station.
Bill: Yeah! Plus, you got an excellently huge Martian butt!
Big Station: Station!

Evil Ted: I got a full-on robot chubby.

Both Bill and Ted: It's Colonel Oats! No way!
Colonel Oats: Gentlemen! Welcome to hell.
Ted: No way.
Colonel Oats: What!?!
Ted: No way...sir?
Colonel Oats: You two will do whatever I tell you to do from now on. Is that clear?
Bill: Yes, sir. Dude!
Colonel Oats: What!?!
Bill: Yes! Dude! Sir!
Colonel Oats: What!?!
Bill: Yes, sir! Sir! Dude!
Colonel Oats: Get down and give me infinity. Stupid, pathetic, craven little cretins.
Bill: Dude, there's no way I can possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Maybe if he lets us do it girlie style.

Bishop73

Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant, the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don't really even know how to play?
Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen.
Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.
Bill/Ted: Excellent.

Teacher: Ted, who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: Noah's wife?

Bill: How's it going, royal ugly dudes? I am the Earl of Preston.
Ted: And I am the Duke of Ted.
King Henry: Put them in the iron maiden.
Bill and Ted: Iron Maiden? Excellent!

Missy: Hi, guys.
Bill: Hi, Missy - I mean, Mom.
Ted: Uh, Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our...friends.
Bill: Yeah, this is uh, Dave Beeth Oven. And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy. Herman the Kid.
Ted: Bob Ghenghis Kahn. So-Crates Johnson. Dennis Frood. And, uh...uh...Abraham Lincoln.

Bishop73

Eddie Kasalivich: Doctor Sinclair and I ride together.

John Constantine: When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most people would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine: I didn't "try" anything.

Angela Dodson: Well, this has been real educational... But I don't believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

John Constantine: So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all but...I'm hoping to get enough to insure my retirement.
Angela Dodson: I don't understand.
John Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die the rules say I got just one place to go.
Angela Dodson: You're trying to buy your way into heaven.
John Constantine: What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?

Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.

John Constantine: I did tell you to move the car.
Chaz: Yeah, well if you'd have told me that there was going to be a 300 pound mirror with a pissed off demon inside it falling from a window, I would've moved it further, John.

Klaatu: If the Earth dies, you die. If the human race dies, the Earth survives.

Polygraph Operator: I'm going to ask you a series of control questions. Are you currently in a seated position?
Klaatu: Yes.
Polygraph Operator: Are you human?
Klaatu: My body is.
Polygraph Operator: Do you feel pain?
Klaatu: My body does.
Polygraph Operator: Are you aware of an impending attack on the planet earth?
Klaatu: You should let me go.

Klaatu: There are some things I can't do.
Jacob Benson: But you have powers.
Klaatu: I'm sorry.
Jacob Benson: Please. Please!
Klaatu: Jacob, nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed.
Jacob Benson: Just leave me alone.