Quotes from Jason Lee movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Brodie: How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store? I'm starting to get a mean hard-on.

Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: Be fair. everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Brodie: You know about this game show they got goin' on here? We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen.
Jay: Is that it? We were gonna do that anyway.
Brodie: Really? Why?
Jay: What else are we gonna do?

Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie: Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand 'em all.

Brodie: Hey, look at that ring. What is that?
Jared Svenning: That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, '69.
Brodie: I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 69.

Gwen: Why are you glowing?
Brodie: I'm not glowing.

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega.

Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.

Shannon Hamilton: That's it. You're dead, mallrat! I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair.
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?

Brodie: I love the smell of commerce in the morning.

Gwen: Tell me about the elevator.
Brodie: It goes up-and-down. Ba-dump-tsss.

Brodie: You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?

T.S. Quint: You should see yourself right now - a grown man with his hand down his pants.
Brodie: Yeah, I probably look like my old man.

Brodie: Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty but damn are they exquisite.

Ivannah: It's the third nipple that does it.
T.S. Quint: Oh, you have a third nipple? I didn't notice.
Brodie: What are you talking about? It's as clear as day! Look at it for god's sake.
Ivannah: You can stare at it. I don't mind.

Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross' mother after she called him "low class."
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.

Brodie: You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?
Stan Lee: Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead.

Brodie: The Thing! Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?
Stan Lee: I don't know. It's a superhero secret.

Ivannah: All right, gentlemen. Free your mind.
Brodie: I'd like to free something.
Ivannah: Fuckus.
Brodie: Just what I was thinking.
T.S. Quint: She said focus.
Brodie: Whatever.