Quotes from Jason Lee movies and TV shows

Jeff Bebe: Doris is the soul of this band.

Jeff Bebe: Is it that hard to make us look cool?

Jeff Bebe: We have got to control what's happening! There's a responsibility here.
Russell Hammond: Excuse me, but didn't we all get into this to avoid responsibility?

Jeff Bebe: And I also slept with Leslie.
Russell Hammond: You slept with Jeff?
Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.

Russell Hammond: I slept with Marna, Dick.
Jeff Bebe: I did too.
Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, but me too.

Dave: All right, Ian get everyone to the raft. If the volcano blows before I make it out of here, you have to promise me you'll-.
Ian: Leave without you. Got it.

Dave: Hey, no smiling. You're still grounded. Remember?

Dave: Do not smile. You guys are grounded in Miami and when we get back to L.A.

Alyssa: Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: Are you asking for my permission?

Banky Edwards: Archie is not fucking Mr. Weatherbee!

[After Banky pulls out a stack of porno magazines from his bag.]
Holden McNeil: Oh my God. Who are you, Larry fucking Flynt? What are you going to do with all of those?
Banky Edwards: Read the articles. What do you think I'm going to do with them? They're stroke books, stupid!
Holden McNeil: You've got like, thirty books there! We're only going to be gone for two days!
Banky Edwards: Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do it, sometimes - not often, but sometimes - I like the idea of a chick with a horse.

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden McNeil: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden McNeil: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden McNeil: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

Azrael: What did you tell him, Serendipity? To hit me with the golf club? Are you serious? I'm a fucking demon And you're gonna have him assault me with a putter?

Pete: Bingo... Did you say bingo like the game in church basements?
Beaver: Well there's trim there.
Pete: Oh, Beaver.

Beaver: What's it called when you got a constant woody and it won't go down?
Henry: You mean priapism?
Beaver: See, I'm practically priasmic.

Young Beaver: Hey, you don't wanna see the homecoming queen's pussy? Don't come.

Jack Withrowe: Look, I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing, okay? But let's just take it slow.

Jack Withrowe: My car doesn't drive so well with a tree in it.

Page Conners: Look, just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?
Jack Withrowe: Who told you I'm into that?

Jack Withrowe: Tell me to my face you don't love me.
Page Conners: I don't love you.
Jack Withrowe: Wow. More believable than I thought it would be.