Quotes from Jane Curtin movies and TV shows

Just Your Average Dick (1) - S3-E22

Mary: Dick, you and your family, I know you mean well but sometimes it's like being around the Addams family.
Dick: Well, I will admit that John Adams' views of a strong central government may have been ahead of their time, but I...
Mary: That's not who I meant.
Dick: John Quincy Adams? You're comparing me to that freak show!?

Phaneron ★

Fifteen Minutes of Dick - S2-E23

Mary: Dick, why are you so upset about this? What do you want?
Dick: Fame. I wanna live forever. Light up the sky like a flame. Fame.

Green-Eyed Dick - S1-E6

Jeff: It's an ancient Ukranian quilting thimble. There's some writing on the outside. I didn't have time to get it translated.
Mary: Well, you've been so busy with the book.
Dick: Oh uh, speaking of time, don't you have a meeting?
Jeff: Right. I gotta go. Bye.
Mary: I'm gonna have to find someone who can translate Ukranian.
Dick: Oh, that's not Ukranian, it's Turkish. Look, there's a diacritical mark over the "O." [Reads in Turkish.]
Mary: Well, what does it mean?
Dick: "May these always point me toward the spoils of war." This isn't a thimble, it's Turkish nipple armor.

Phaneron ★

The Dicks They Are A-Changin' - S1-E14

Mary: Did you ever drop acid?
Dick: Oh, constantly.
Mary: You did a lot of tripping?
Dick: That's how I dropped the acid. (00:04:05)

Phaneron ★

The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary - S5-E9

Sally: Dad's a great guy. You'll really like him.
Mary: Dick, you always said your father was dead.
Dick: She meant you'll like his corpse.

Phaneron ★

Same Old Song and Dick - S2-E17

Dick: I just want us to be the way we were, the greatest lovers in history.
Mary: Dick, put your panties back on and sit down. We're fine, there's nothing wrong with us. Our relationship is normal.
Dick: I don't want normal. I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion, like Romeo and Juliet.
Mary: They both wound up dead.
Dick: Anthony and Cleopatra.
Mary: Dead.
Dick: Well, that couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary: Insane and dead.
Dick: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary: Drunk, insane, and dead.
Dick: Tristan ùnd Iseult.
Mary: Abgeschossen.
Dick: Aha! Siegfried and Roy!
Mary: OK, one.

Bishop73

The Dicks They Are A-Changin' - S1-E14

Mary: Oohh. Are these magic brownies?
Dick: Pepperidge Farm.
Mary: You, know. I think I have something. I found it when I moved eight years ago. It's in the freezer. It's a joint.
Dick: Ooh. A doobie. Let's bogart that fat boy.

Bishop73

Prymatt Conehead: You know Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.

Lisa Farber: All men are pigs.
Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes.
Lisa Farber: Exactly.

Elaine: I know how to get the money out of the money ball.
Louise: How?
Elaine: Suck.

Jerry: I'll give you 10 bucks for this racket, Elaine.
Elaine: It's a deal, Jerry.
Jerry: Say, did Millard have any balls?
[Long pause, the friends look at each other grinning sarcastically].
Elaine: Nah I can't. It's too easy. (00:21:15)

Sammo ★

Elaine: Why don't we just become hookers and rent a motel room?
Jane: We'd starve to death, there's 12,000 college girls in this town giving it away.
Elaine: You're right.
(00:22:20)

Sammo ★