Quotes from Jack Lemmon movies and TV shows - page 3 of 4

Felix Ungar: I'll be in the way.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: How could you possibly be in anyone's way?
Oscar Madison: You want to see a typewritten list?
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, haven't you said enough already?

Felix Ungar: I put order in this house. For the first time in months, you're saving money. You're sleeping on clean sheets. You're eating hot meals for a change and I did it.
Oscar Madison: Yes, that's right. And then at night after we've had your halibut steak and your tartar sauce, I have to spend the rest of the evening watching you Saran Wrap the leftovers.

Gwendolyn Pigeon: I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Felix Ungar: Felix.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, right, Felix.
Cecily Pigeon: Like the cat.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, well, the Pigeon sisters had better beware of the cat.

Felix Ungar: I think I'm crazy.
Oscar Madison: If it makes you feel any better, I think so too.

Felix Ungar: I'm a neurotic nut, but you're crazy.

Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, you're not going anywhere until you take it back.
Felix Ungar: Take what back?
Oscar Madison: "Let it be on your head." What the hell is that, the Curse of the Cat People?

Felix Ungar: Walk on the paper, will you? I washed the floor in there.

Felix Ungar: In other words, you're throwin' me out.
Oscar Madison: Not in other words. Those are the perfect ones.

George Kellerman: My wife can verify that. Gwen?
Gwen Kellerman: I can verify that.

George Kellerman: And you're not getting away with anything! I got all your names and your addresses.

Gwen Kellerman: George, I can't walk and you can't carry me. And there are no buses, or taxis, and no car is going to stop to pick up bleeding strangers.
George Kellerman: It's not safe in the park at night.
Gwen Kellerman: We have already been robbed and kidnapped. We have nothing to lose but four cents. Please, George.
George Kellerman: Suppose it rains again?
Gwen Kellerman: I am so wet now, it can only make me drier.

George Kellerman: Is there anything wrong? I mean, it's over 35 minutes now.
Airline Stewardess: I imagine we've run into some bad weather.
George Kellerman: You don't have to imagine. Just look out the window.

George Kellerman: Oh, please, please if there's any justice let Murray get mugged by the man who took my watch.

Gwen Kellerman: Why... why didn't we just stop and explain?
George Kellerman: Explain? What I'm doing in the bushes with a little boy? With my hands in his pockets? They'd give me 10-20 years.

George Kellerman: 37,000 policemen in the city of New York! Not one'll come out in the rain.

George Kellerman: You chased a dog and you beat a horse. You're stronger than you think.

George Kellerman: I was going to take you to dinner at one of the best restaurants in the world. Here you are eating peanut butter on white bread with nothing to drink. If you ever get your mouth open again, I wouldn't blame you if you never talk to me.
Gwen Kellerman: Oh my God.
George Kellerman: What's wrong?
Gwen Kellerman: I lost my left eyelash.

Gwen Kellerman: George, what are we doing wrong? We can't ride, we can't walk, we can't eat, we can't pray.
George Kellerman: Well, we can think. As long as we got our brains, we can think.
Gwen Kellerman: Oh, they'll get that too, George. You'll see.

Harry Stoner: Everybody misses.
Margo: Not professionals.
Harry Stoner: Oh yeah, professionals too. Quarterbacks get knocked down, nurses get knocked up, somebody invented the Edsel. Everybody misses.

Myra: Are you OK? Do you want something?
Harry Stoner: Yes. I want that girl in a Cole Porter song. I wanna see Lena Horne at the Cotton Club - hear Billie Holiday sing fine and mellow - walk in that kind of rain that never washes perfume away. I wanna be in love with something. Anything. Just the idea. A dog, a cat. Anything. Just something.