Quotes from Burt Reynolds movies and TV shows

Paula McCullen: Breasts too large, Richard? Every female character you create has breasts too large.
Richard Babson: Mmm... but I make them suffer for it.

Bobby: Which way we goin', this way or that way?
Lewis: I think downstream would be a good idea.

Bobby: We beat it, didn't we? Didn't we beat that?
Lewis: You don't beat it. You don't beat this river.

Lewis: Sometimes you have to lose yourself 'fore you can find anything.

Lewis: Do know what's gonna be here? Right here? A lake. As far as the eyes can see. Hundreds of feet deep. hundreds of feet deep. Did you ever look out over a lake and think of somethin' buried underneath it? Buried underneath it. Well man, that's just about as buried as you can get.

Lewis: Can that chubby boy handle himself?
Ed: Bobby? He's rather well thought of in his field, Lewis.
Lewis: Insurance? Shit. I never been insured in my life. I don't believe in insurance. There's no risk.

Bobby: Hey, what happens if we flip this thing over?
Lewis: Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don't hit 'em with your head.

Bogdanski: What the hell was that?
Paul Crewe: That was a dropkick.
Bogdanski: Dropkick?
Paul Crewe: Dropkick.
Bogdanski: How much is that worth?
Paul Crewe: Three points.
Bogdanski: Three points?
Paul Crewe: Three points.
Bogdanski: For that? Bullshit.

Paul Crewe: My, you have lovely hair. You ever find any spiders in it?

Paul Crewe: Hey Pop, the time you hit Hazen in the mouth, was it worth 30 years?
Pop: For me it was.
Paul Crewe: Then give me my damn shoe.

Paul Crewe: Whattya got for me, Sunshine?
Caretaker: I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want. You name it. I'm the best hustler in the joint.
Paul Crewe: How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?
Nate Scarboro: He can get you laid in here... with a woman.

Paul Crewe: You know, there's only one thing I'm sorry about.
Warden Hazen: What's that, Mr. Crewe?
Paul Crewe: That you're not out here with us knockin' heads.
Warden Hazen: I'm afraid I'm a little old for that.
Paul Crewe: No, you never had the guts to begin with.

Paul Crewe: For Nate, for Granny... for Caretaker.

Paul Crewe: You take your football down here real serious, don't you?
Caretaker: You mind if I ask you one question?
Paul Crewe: Yes, I do mind.
Caretaker: Why did you do it?
Paul Crewe: It's a long story.
Caretaker: Well, I got eight years.

Paul Crewe: We're gettin' up a football game against the guards. Wondered if maybe you and some of your buddies here would like to join in on the fun.
Samson: With the guards?
Paul Crewe: Uh huh.
Samson: Sure, I'd like that.

Caretaker: Most of these old boys don't have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let your teammates down, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
Paul Crewe: Oh I did, did I?
Caretaker: Oh I ain't saying you did or you didn't. All I'm saying is that you could have robbed banks, sold dope or stole your grandmother's pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off a football game, man that's un-American.

Paul Crewe: Nate, if you're thinking about winning this game, then you're as crazy as he is.
Nate Scarboro: Well, maybe so. But you spend fourteen years in this tank, you begin to understand that you've only got two things left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you... Your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.

Judge Walter Burns: Hi. What's wrong?
Joanne Burns: Uh, Walter, get out. This is private.
Judge Walter Burns: I'm entitled to know what's going on under this roof. After all, I am the father of this child...
Joanne Burns: Walter, if you don't leave, I *swear*...I'll tell you.
Judge Walter Burns: [pause.] Right. [leaves.].

Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.
Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.

Bandit: [To Big and Little Enos - laughing] It must be a bitch getting a size 68 extra fat, and a 12 dwarf.

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