Bandit: Why do you want me to go to Texarkana to get all that beer anyway?
Little Enos: It ain't never been done, hotshit.
Bandit: Watch your mouth little lady.
Bandit: You must be in a hell of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?
Buford T. Justice: You bet your ass on that, boy.
Congressman David Dilbeck: You don't know how much I love you. I even sent my man Erb to collect your lint.
Erin Grant: My lint?
Congressman David Dilbeck: Fresh, hot lint.
Erin Grant: And what did you do with that fresh, hot lint?
Congressman David Dilbeck: Well, I'm afraid I made love to it.
Man in Bar: Come on, damnit, we wanna hear a cluck.
Stroker Ace: Who gives a cluck?
Stroker Ace: I thought all actors were egotistical hypochondriac sissies.
Doc Seegle: Well, they are. But I like'em.
Gator McKlusky: Only two things in the world I'm scared of.
Sheriff Connors: Only scared of two things, what's that?
Gator McKlusky: Women and the police.
Vinnie Carruthers: What happened to you?
Gator McKlusky: I was tryin' to save these two buddies of mine from getting knocked up by a homosexual.
Vinnie Carruthers: Oh, praise god.
Gator McKlusky: You two are more fun than going to an all-night dentist.
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