Quotes from Alec Baldwin movies and TV shows - page 2 of 4

Bobby DeLaughter: I don't see what difference it makes if a man was bushwhacked yesterday, today, or 27 damn years ago. Murder is murder. And it's still my job to bring the son of a bitch to justice. And it's still your job to help me.
Delamar Dennis: No! I did my job. I testified against the Klan. They shot out my windows, blew up my car, they hunted and harassed me for twenty five years. Don't that get me even for the wrong I done?
Bobby DeLaughter: We never get even for the wrong we've done.

Blake: Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers only.

Jack Ryan: "Ryan, some things in here don't react well to bullets." Yeah, like me. I don't react well to bullets.

Jack Ryan: "The average Rooskie, son, don't take a dump without a plan." Wait a minute. We don't have to figure out how to get the crew off the sub, he's already done that. He would've had to. All we have to do is figure out what he's going to do. So how's he going to get the crew off the sub? They have to want to get off. How do you get a crew to want to get off a submarine? How do you get a crew to want to get off a nuclear sub...[realisation hits].

Movie Nut

Helicopter Pilot: Fuel status says we turn back now.
Jack Ryan: Wait a minute. Fuel status? You have a reserve, don't you?
Helicopter Pilot: Yes, sir. I've got a ten minute reserve. But I'm not allowed to invoke that except in time of war.
Jack Ryan: Listen, mister, if you don't get me on board that goddamn submarine, that just might be what you'll have! You got me? Now, you have ten more minutes' worth of fuel, we stay here ten more minutes.

Capt. Bart Mancuso: How did you know that his next turn would be to starboard?
Jack Ryan: I didn't. I had a 50/50 chance. I needed a break. Sorry.
Capt. Bart Mancuso: That's all right, Mr Ryan. My Morse is so rusty, I could be sending him dimensions on Playmate of the Month.

Jack Ryan: I've got a line on those doors. You know what they are?
Greer: A nearly silent propulsion system?
Jack Ryan: How did you know that?
Greer: The captain of the sub we had following her radioed in. Thing up and disappeared right in front of 'em.

Cubs Fan ★

Jane: Don't you ever eat at your house?
Jake: Pedro dictates most meals and he has a very... limited palate.

Harley: Are you smoking weed in the guest bathroom?
Jake: Yes we are, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone?
Harley: Oh no. Of course not. Just add it to the list.

Jake: I don't regret giving it another shot.
Jane: It probably would have worked, if you hadn't been married.
Jake: I wouldn't have considered it, if I wasn't.
Jane: I don't regret it either.

Jane: AW! It's official! We are having an affair.
Jake: Why do you need to label everything?
Jane: Because! THAT'S what this is.

Jake: Is it really necessary for you to always say no before you say yes?

Teacher: All you need to say is two words... two specific words, though. What they are? 'Not. Guilty.'.

Teacher: I'm sorry you hate me... but I do love you.

Brenda Bartlett: Mick he knows.
Mickey Bartlett: Knows what?
Brenda Bartlett: That you're a mother fucker... literally.
Mickey Bartlett: What kind of shit is that to say?
Brenda Bartlett: Well, you do fuck mothers, don't you?
Mickey Bartlett: Man, you can take the girl out of Queens, am I right?

Mickey Bartlett: So you're telling me you weren't happy on your wedding day either?
Brenda Bartlett: Telling me you felt trapped minutes before the ceremony didn't exactly bring a fucking smile to my face.
Mickey Bartlett: I was talking about the tux.
Brenda Bartlett: Oh, so this is all just some big misunderstanding then?

Jed: Bad things happen to good people all the time, Andy, for no reason what-so-ever.

Guest at Party: Nick, I can't believe you look so good for someone so old. How do you do that?
Nick Kudrow: Drugs, my dear. Massive doses of drugs.

Nick Kudrow: You know, my wife says my people skills are like my cooking skills: quick and tasteless.

Susie Waggoner: ...And you save your money... and buy a nice little house, with a white picket fence, and live happily ever after.
Frederick J. Frenger Jr.: Tell you what. Let's go straight to the "happily ever after" part, OK?