Peachy Carnehan: Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from flying off.
Daniel Dravot: You have our permission to bugger off.
Peachy Carnehan: Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over.
Danny: You mean he's piled up a fortune of sixty cows out of her infidelities?
Billy Fish: And thirty-two goats.
Danny: She ain't a wife, she's a going concern.
Peachy Carnehan: Do they always use such a big ball?
Billy Fish: Depend on size of man's head. Big head, big ball, small head, small ball. That Bashki man. Oh big damn head.
District Commissioner: The may be no criminal charges against you, but I'll see these files reach Calcutta with a recommendation that you be deported as political undesirables, detriments to the dignity of the Empire and the Izzat of the Raj.
Peachy Carnehan: Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you it was "detriments" like us that built this bloody Empire and the Izzat of the bloody Raj, 'ats on.
Daniel Dravot: Now listen to me you benighted muckers. We're going to teach you soldiering. The world's noblest profession. When we're done with you, you'll be able to slaughter your enemies like civilized men.
Billy Fish: He wants to know if you are gods.
Peachy Carnehan: Not gods - Englishmen. The next best thing.
Danny: You mortals wait down there.
Peachy Carnehan: Danny's only a man. But he break wind at both ends simultaneous - which is more, I reckon, than any god can do.
Daniel Dravot: The more tribes, the more they'll fight, and the better for us.
Daniel Dravot: The slut bit me.
Daniel Dravot: Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for gettin' you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein' so bleedin' high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me?
Peachy Carnehan: That I can and that I do, Danny, free and full and without let or hindrance.
Daniel Dravot: Everything's all right then.
Peachy Carnehan: They're savages here, one and all. Leave 'em to go back to slaughterin' babes, and playin' stickball with each other's heads, and pissin' on their neighbors.
Peachy Carnehan: It took him half an hour to fall.
