Best comedy movie quotes of 2015

Castillo: Did you hire me?
Jane: I'm sorry?
Castillo: Did you hire me?
Jane: No, no.
Castillo: I hired you.
Jane: No, nobody hired me. I cannot be hired. Unless you mean in the uh, you know, the technical sense, then yes, I probably was hired.

Pete: You brought your guitar.
Ricki: Yeah, just the one.

Woody: Is that it?
Zach: No, it's another spaceship that fell out of the sky, dumbass.

Murray: Please don't kill me.
Vlad: Talking toilet paper... well that's a new one.

Bucky: Such a fuss, when everything we want is right in front of us the whole time.

Adam Jr.: I'm a god. I'm a fuckin' god.

Joy: Don't ever think that the world owes you anything, because it doesn't. The world doesn't owe you a thing.

Rome: I've got a little treat for y'all tonight. It's the man I knew as White Chocolate. Some might know him as Magic Mike. We gonna see if he still got some magic in that Mike. You down for a little fun tonight? Have a seat. Mike?
Mike: Come on, let's not do this.

Michael Stone: Sometimes there's no lesson. That's a lesson in itself.

Aaron: Honey. You okay?
Amy: Did I get it?
Aaron: Did you get the basket?
Amy: Did it go in?
Aaron: Oh, of course not. You didn't get enough height.
Amy: No?
Aaron: No.
Amy: I thought I got a lot of height.
Aaron: No, no. Zero height.
Amy: No height, huh?
Aaron: Usually when people hit trampolines they go high, but, for some reason, you went down. You went straight down. Hard.

Andrew McDonnell: Lady, that's not yours to ruin.

Larsen McCredle: Ari, we sure do 'preciate you comin' out here all this way.
Ari Gold: Oh, of course.
Larsen McCredle: You been on the job nearly 8 months and hadn't payed us a visit. We're beginning to feel unloved.
Ari Gold: I didn't know I was invited.
Larsen McCredle: Oh, anybody spends my money like you do is always invited to my home to tell me why.

Paul Shaffer: Bill.
Bill Murray: Paul.
Paul Shaffer: Yeah. Where we going?
Bill Murray: You haven't quit drinking yet, have you?
Paul Shaffer: Should I?
Bill Murray: Good man.

Jack: Congratulations on your massive pack of lies!
Nancy: Thank you!
Jack: God, you're such a cynic!
Nancy: And you're such a romantic.

Fish: Alright, all secondary characters, come with me.

Elle Reid: You need to be able to say 'screw you' sometimes.

Doug Harris: What exactly do you do?
Jimmy: I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.
Doug Harris: So, I'm not alone?
Jimmy: Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year?
Doug Harris: 2.4 million.
Jimmy: That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?

Greg: Can I put some flowers on you?

News Reporter: Officer Cooper stands at four feet, 11 inches.
Cooper: Oh, come on.
News Reporter: The other suspect, a 45-year-old Latino woman.
Daniella Riva: 45? My madre.
News Reporter: Officer Cooper is four feet, nine inches.
Cooper: I am five-foot, two.
News Reporter: Traveling with a 50-year-old suspect.

Lainey: Are you saying I'm crack cocaine?
Jake: Yeah. Don't sell yourself short. We wouldn't have the west wing without you.