Best comedy movie quotes of 2015

Marnie: I thought you gave up smoking.
Lori: Cigarettes. You said this was better.
Marnie: I said it was okay after your father died when your stomach hurt.
Lori: Well, it's after my father died and my stomach hurts.

Ari Gold: Do you know how hard I have worked to avoid going to Texas? Do you know what they do to Jews in Texas?

Danny Collins: Hank, I haven't written a song in thirty years. thirty years. I'm a fucking joke.

Margaret: Look, isn't that those Nestrians?
Flamingo: Oh, yeah. Finally they found where they belong.
Lion: Yeah, probably we should've told them at the check-in, don't you think?

Father Mike Corridan: The question remains: 'Can your plan save us from us?'.

Wyatt Earp: What's shakin' Twain?
Mark Twain: Hey, I'm good on anything. Just like gravy, baby. Good to see you my man.
Wyatt Earp: You too, man.
Wyatt Earp: Hey, I finally read Prince and the Pauper.
Mark Twain: Oh, is that right?
Wyatt Earp: Didn't get it.
Mark Twain: For reals?
Wyatt Earp: Satire! Boom! I got ya.

Castillo: Did you hire me?
Jane: I'm sorry?
Castillo: Did you hire me?
Jane: No, no.
Castillo: I hired you.
Jane: No, nobody hired me. I cannot be hired. Unless you mean in the uh, you know, the technical sense, then yes, I probably was hired.

Pete: You brought your guitar.
Ricki: Yeah, just the one.

Woody: Is that it?
Zach: No, it's another spaceship that fell out of the sky, dumbass.

Murray: Please don't kill me.
Vlad: Talking toilet paper... well that's a new one.

Bucky: Such a fuss, when everything we want is right in front of us the whole time.

Adam Jr.: I'm a god. I'm a fuckin' god.

Joy: Don't ever think that the world owes you anything, because it doesn't. The world doesn't owe you a thing.

Rome: I've got a little treat for y'all tonight. It's the man I knew as White Chocolate. Some might know him as Magic Mike. We gonna see if he still got some magic in that Mike. You down for a little fun tonight? Have a seat. Mike?
Mike: Come on, let's not do this.

Michael Stone: Sometimes there's no lesson. That's a lesson in itself.

Andrew McDonnell: Lady, that's not yours to ruin.

Ben: All right, scouts. Let's kick some zombie ass.

Mike Pancake: I lost my virginity! Twice.

Paul Shaffer: Bill.
Bill Murray: Paul.
Paul Shaffer: Yeah. Where we going?
Bill Murray: You haven't quit drinking yet, have you?
Paul Shaffer: Should I?
Bill Murray: Good man.

Donald: I just want you to know, my safe word is "pineapple."