Grace: I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I'm not even me.
Katherine: I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.
Aramis: I'm not really a priest.
Blonde girl: I'm not really a lady.
Aramis: I have 10 minutes.
Kate: Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole!
Mrs. Elton: A lot of rubbish is talked about love. You know what real love is? It's wiping someone's arse or changing the sheets when they've wet themselves. And letting them keep their dignity so you can both go on.
Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.
Jacob Black: You kill her, you kill me.
Emma: A tortilla is either corn or wheat. But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco, whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito. Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga. Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada.
Gil: I'm having trouble because I'm a Hollywood hack who never gave real literature a shot.
David Norris: All I have are the choices I make, and I choose her, come what may.
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Stan Harris: Nothing beats New York on New Years Eve.
Lord Redbrick: I'm not illiterate! My parents were married!
Ethan: The Hamptons are like a zombie movie directed by Ralph Lauren.
Harris McElroy: You're going to have to start using that brain of yours to access that talent of yours to show that beautiful heart of yours.
Al Zimmer: Perfect!
Anna: I don't feel very young.
Liz: Well, you are.