King Henry viii: Why are you here for her?
Mary Boleyn: Because she is my sister, and therefore one half of me.
Surfing Instructor: When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons, ' and bail.
President Ashton: This intel is certain?
Phil McCullough: Absolutely.
President Ashton: Then why aren't we focusing on the ones who are here actually doing this?
Phil McCullough: We are.
President Ashton: This summit is too important.
Phil McCullough: I know that sir, but we're looking for five people out of six million. We are trying.
President Ashton: Try harder.
Molly Johnson: All the world's great civilizations have followed the same path. From bondage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy back to bondage. If we are to be the exception to history, then we must break the cycle, for those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Hancock: I apologize to the people of Los Angeles. My behavior has been improper and I accept the consequences. I ask my fellow Angelinos for their patience and understanding. Life here can be difficult for me. After all, I am the only one of my kind. During my incarceration, I will be participating in alcohol and anger management treatment. You deserve better from me. I can be better. I will be better.
Ray Tierney: When we were kids, all we ever talked about was being cops.
Juan Antonio: Well, now that the day's almost over, is it reasonable of me to ask you if you'll both join me in my room?
Vicky: Oh, come on, I thought we'd settled that.
Cristina: Vicky's just trying to say that she's engaged to be married, that's all.
Juan Antonio: Great. Then these are her last days of freedom.
Vicky: No. Look, I'm not free. I'm committed. You know what my theory is? And when I drink, I get brutally frank. I think that you're still hurting from the failure of your marriage to Maria Elena, and you're trying to lose yourself in empty sex.
Juan Antonio: Empty sex? Do you have such a low opinion of yourself?
Narrator: How different things might have been for Ben had his nose-picking and day-dreaming been able to continue. Had he believed praise when he heard it, and had he decided, against all hope, to send his manuscript to Harper Collins.
Adele Lack: Everyone is disappointing the more you know them.
Yôko: Jesus, I approve of you as the only cool man besides Kurt Cobain.
Lincoln DeNeuf: The Devil is building his army. Max Payne is looking for something that God wants to stay hidden. That is what makes him more dangerous.
Crissy Lynn: If he were any dumber, I'd have to water him.
Harvey Milk: Without hope, life's not worth living.
Carter Rutherford: I thought you liked me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Look, she's too old for you.
Lexie Littleton: What? Well, you're too old for me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well, you got me on that one.
Kate: Sorry Mrs Kingsley, we just got a little bit carried away.
Mrs. Kingsley: Well as I understand, Drippy was totally carried away by Mr Nellis and Miss Rees-Withers - after lying in a pool of her own vomit.
Drippy: Actually, it was Kate's vomit, Mrs Kingsley - I was just lying in it.
Richard Nixon: I let them down. I let down my friends, I let down my country, and worst of all I let down our system of government, and the dreams of all those young people that ought to get into government but now they think; 'Oh it's all too corrupt and the rest'. Yeah... I let the American people down. And I'm gonna have to carry that burden with me for the rest of my life. My political life is over.
Eric: What is scary about commitment is that your life becomes real. It is not a plan, it is not what you had hoped for - it is real.
Guard at Liberty Gate: What were you doing out there?
Staff Sergeant William James: Visiting a whorehouse.
Guard at Liberty Gate: Okay. If I let you back in, will you tell me where it is exactly?