Crissy Lynn: If he were any dumber, I'd have to water him.
Richard Nixon: I let them down. I let down my friends, I let down my country, and worst of all I let down our system of government, and the dreams of all those young people that ought to get into government but now they think; 'Oh it's all too corrupt and the rest'. Yeah... I let the American people down. And I'm gonna have to carry that burden with me for the rest of my life. My political life is over.
Guard at Liberty Gate: What were you doing out there?
Staff Sergeant William James: Visiting a whorehouse.
Guard at Liberty Gate: Okay. If I let you back in, will you tell me where it is exactly?
Kate: Sorry Mrs Kingsley, we just got a little bit carried away.
Mrs. Kingsley: Well as I understand, Drippy was totally carried away by Mr Nellis and Miss Rees-Withers - after lying in a pool of her own vomit.
Drippy: Actually, it was Kate's vomit, Mrs Kingsley - I was just lying in it.
Driver: I envy you.
Eric: What is scary about commitment is that your life becomes real. It is not a plan, it is not what you had hoped for - it is real.
Scott Bartlett: So are we really going to like do it?
Adrianna Bragg: Do you really think we should talk about it?
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
Ben Schwartzwalder: I won't tell him he'll be the next Ernie Davis, because there'll never be another Ernie Davis.
Ray Embrey: People don't like you, Hancock.
Hancock: Do I look like I care what people think?
Eli: I'm twelve. But I've been twelve for a long time.
Livingston: There's no control in life. Wherever you go, wherever you hide, there's risk.
King Henry viii: Why are you here for her?
Mary Boleyn: Because she is my sister, and therefore one half of me.
Jean Roqua: It's on you, always has been, always will be.
Surfing Instructor: When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons, ' and bail.
Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
Molly Johnson: All the world's great civilizations have followed the same path. From bondage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy back to bondage. If we are to be the exception to history, then we must break the cycle, for those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Brandy: Now listen up. Life is the script, Noah. You're the writer of your own life. It's time to take control.
Ray Tierney: When we were kids, all we ever talked about was being cops.