
James: Our daughter is scarred for life. She'll either grow up to be oddly attracted to Popeye, or a lesbian.

Idi Amin: Before I forget, I need to ask you a favor.
Nicholas Garrigan: Anything.
Idi Amin: I will be in Libya next week, and I need you to attend a meeting in my place.
Nicholas Garrigan: What kind of meeting?
Idi Amin: A simple matter of taste and common sense. I cannot think of anyone better than you.

Bird: You know we are all trying to get you right?
Mandy Lane: Get me?
Bird: Get with you. Here's the deal, I'm not like the other guys.

Leslie Vernon: I don't keep pets that I can't eat.

Richard Messner: You said someone came up to you as an FBI agent?
Pimply Casino Employee: Yeah?
Richard Messner: And then you saw him get on the elevator wearing a security guard outfit?
Pimply Casino Employee: Yeah?
Richard Messner: And that doesn't seem odd to you?

Marcus: I know what you have done, Selene.
Selene: Viktor deserved his fate. And Kraven was no better.
Marcus: Kraven has already reaped the rewards of his own misdeeds. And yes, Viktor deserved his fate, many times over. A terrible business, the slaying of your mortal family. Yet so much effort was spent to conceal this matter from me. What do you suppose Viktor had to hide? Or perhaps it is you Selene, as the last of your wretched family, who has something to hide?

Shoshana Cox: I have a question for the Supreme Court. What happens when a woman has sex on a flight from London to Los Angeles, then takes the morning-after pill while flying across the time zone?
Krysta Now: I don't know.
Shoshana Cox: Then it becomes the morning-before pill.
Deena Storm: You are a genius.
Shoshana Cox: Hello. Can't answer to that.
Krysta Now: Holy shit. That is brilliant.

Amber Williams: Zoe, did you tell anyone?
Zoe: Yeah, I wrote a song about it, but don't worry, that single's not out yet.

Cleveland Heep: Hello Story, my name is Cleveland.
Story: From the cliffs. That's what your name means.
Cleveland Heep: Where did you learn that?
Story: From my studies.

Donna D. Logand: The hell of it is, is you're only as loved as you think you are.

Eddie Bunker: You're driving in a hurricane and you see three people at a bus stop. One is an old lady and she's sick. One is your best friend and he saved your life. And the third is the lady of your dreams. Now check it out, you only have room for one in your car, which one do you take?

Robert Thorn: I never want to see or hear from you again.
Father Brennan: You'll see me in hell Mr. Thorn.
Father Brennan: We'll spend eternity together.